The Robot's Thoughts

I've been thinking for quite a while that my birthday this year has been one of the best I've ever had, if not the best. The reason doesn't stem for who or who didn't come, what did or didn't happen, but how I felt. One thing that's almost always linger in the back of the mind during my birthday is that its also the annual anniversary of my first relationship. I started dating my first girlfriend on my 17Th birthday. We'd hung out the weekend before, and there was some definite chemistry. Well, it had been dawning on me for some time there was some chemistry, but nothing compares to that first time you stare back at someone at looking at you; you don't have to say anything.

So I'd spent my 17Th birthday with her, and we curled up on her couch and watched X-Files. It was a good time. There was that first kiss, which was just a quick peck on the lips. It paled even to the second. Every kiss since then has been more confident. Every kiss a snowflake.

And its always been in the back of my mind during a birthday party. She's not here among the gathered and invited. I'm but the mere host of this celebration. The Guest of Honor is missing. This could be our Nth anniversary, where N is the number years its been since my 17Th. 1999.

I didn't feel that way this year.