Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Six Days Without an Update!
I know, I said I'd have something special for all you loyal readers who undoubtedly kept clicking reload non-stop until this post showed up in front of you.
Well, its still in the works.
But I feel like posting anyway.
Slowing down like this was needed. And speeding up like this was just what I needed.
Allow me to explain:
I'm in small college town, not akin to the one I grew up in, but akin to the one I grew up next too. Anyone from my neck of the woods has probably spent time in Milton, PA. The collars are blue, and the trash is white, if you were to sum it up in a cliche.
And I'm really not miserable. Sure, seeing geo metros with racing mufflers makes me double over in laughter as much as the next guy. And the bars here that I've been two are like overpriced frat parties (not my scene anymore).
Like any small town I've lived in before, everything I need is in walking distance. I even found that the street I live on is a backroad to my workplace. Now I can bike to work, seeing as its only 3.8 miles one way. And unlike the small towns I've lived in PA, this one let's me buy beer on a Sunday, which this past Sunday I did, for the first time ever. (And last call is 3am, which allows me to get tanked at a reasonable pace.)
So I have that simple, uncomplicated, quiet life that few at Pitt could really see me living. Friends who've known me longer know that its just what comes natural.
And like all small towns, there's the network lock-in/lock-out. Everyone knows each other. Or knows a mutual friend. So if you're here, and you don't know anyone, its tough making new friends, because you're not in their network. And they're not going to introduce you to everyone in their network, seeing as they don't know you, and being associated with a weirdo (if you turn out to be one) hurts their reputation and contributes to mutual network lock out.
All you can really do is keep trying until you click with someone.
But meeting people really hasn't been my focus. We're close to a milestone at work, and outside of work, I've been programming in two different environments, and evaluating project management software. Oh, and when I have time, unpacking.
So what do I do? I read, I go for walks, I program, I work, I lift, and I think. And I find all of it, in the right degrees, fulfilling.
Sure, I've been getting hate txt messages such as "I hate you." and "You're gay." and "blah blah blah" and so on, but I mostly ignore them. I think I know who they're coming from. And all I can say is that I'm flattered that you saved my cell phone number. But I'm totally not interested in you that way you're interested in me. I prefer the ladies.
So this is doesn't seem to the outsider like the most exciting life. I didn't ask for their opinion. Its the beginning of a serious focus on developing quality software. Not just for my company, but for myself. Its a purpose driven life. It takes focus and discipline. And time. And right now, and for how long I don't know, I have all three on my side. So I'm going for it.
My 24th birthday is coming soon. Considering I decided to be an engineer when I was 16 (in the office of a great college professor) and I want to have something to show for it before 10 years slip by from that decision, and I find myself wondering if it was my calling, or just a job.
I remember two years ago or so, when I just wanted to be done with college, how I scorned someone I knew because all he wanted to do was get an office and code all day long. Not a team lead. Not a product architect. Just a developer, and a damn good one. My remarks were something like, "Coding gets boring after a while. Don't you want to be in a position where you're bringing YOUR ideas to life." His response was something like, "That's what I want to be doing all day long two years from now."
My response was, "In two years, I'm gonna want underlings."
Now _I_ understand what he meant. Now I know _WHY_ he said it. When you're passionate about what you're doing, you're just stoked to be doing it. When you're just in love with yourself and your ego, you're just a narcissit. And you're going to want trophies to show off to people just how big and important you are.
What's changed since then? (Other then graduation and two jobs) I met a narcissist. One bigger (or smaller, if you're talking build instead of ego) then me. And it was inspirational. I felt saved. After seeing someone behave like he's right, even when he's wrong, I knew I wanted to live a life as far from that as I could. And its become about doing a great job for the job's sake, not for getting noticed and getting an attaboy by a buddy buddy manager.
Work here feels like growth, study. The challenge here is the new hot co-worker.
Well, its still in the works.
But I feel like posting anyway.
Slowing down like this was needed. And speeding up like this was just what I needed.
Allow me to explain:
I'm in small college town, not akin to the one I grew up in, but akin to the one I grew up next too. Anyone from my neck of the woods has probably spent time in Milton, PA. The collars are blue, and the trash is white, if you were to sum it up in a cliche.
And I'm really not miserable. Sure, seeing geo metros with racing mufflers makes me double over in laughter as much as the next guy. And the bars here that I've been two are like overpriced frat parties (not my scene anymore).
Like any small town I've lived in before, everything I need is in walking distance. I even found that the street I live on is a backroad to my workplace. Now I can bike to work, seeing as its only 3.8 miles one way. And unlike the small towns I've lived in PA, this one let's me buy beer on a Sunday, which this past Sunday I did, for the first time ever. (And last call is 3am, which allows me to get tanked at a reasonable pace.)
So I have that simple, uncomplicated, quiet life that few at Pitt could really see me living. Friends who've known me longer know that its just what comes natural.
And like all small towns, there's the network lock-in/lock-out. Everyone knows each other. Or knows a mutual friend. So if you're here, and you don't know anyone, its tough making new friends, because you're not in their network. And they're not going to introduce you to everyone in their network, seeing as they don't know you, and being associated with a weirdo (if you turn out to be one) hurts their reputation and contributes to mutual network lock out.
All you can really do is keep trying until you click with someone.
But meeting people really hasn't been my focus. We're close to a milestone at work, and outside of work, I've been programming in two different environments, and evaluating project management software. Oh, and when I have time, unpacking.
So what do I do? I read, I go for walks, I program, I work, I lift, and I think. And I find all of it, in the right degrees, fulfilling.
Sure, I've been getting hate txt messages such as "I hate you." and "You're gay." and "blah blah blah" and so on, but I mostly ignore them. I think I know who they're coming from. And all I can say is that I'm flattered that you saved my cell phone number. But I'm totally not interested in you that way you're interested in me. I prefer the ladies.
So this is doesn't seem to the outsider like the most exciting life. I didn't ask for their opinion. Its the beginning of a serious focus on developing quality software. Not just for my company, but for myself. Its a purpose driven life. It takes focus and discipline. And time. And right now, and for how long I don't know, I have all three on my side. So I'm going for it.
My 24th birthday is coming soon. Considering I decided to be an engineer when I was 16 (in the office of a great college professor) and I want to have something to show for it before 10 years slip by from that decision, and I find myself wondering if it was my calling, or just a job.
I remember two years ago or so, when I just wanted to be done with college, how I scorned someone I knew because all he wanted to do was get an office and code all day long. Not a team lead. Not a product architect. Just a developer, and a damn good one. My remarks were something like, "Coding gets boring after a while. Don't you want to be in a position where you're bringing YOUR ideas to life." His response was something like, "That's what I want to be doing all day long two years from now."
My response was, "In two years, I'm gonna want underlings."
Now _I_ understand what he meant. Now I know _WHY_ he said it. When you're passionate about what you're doing, you're just stoked to be doing it. When you're just in love with yourself and your ego, you're just a narcissit. And you're going to want trophies to show off to people just how big and important you are.
What's changed since then? (Other then graduation and two jobs) I met a narcissist. One bigger (or smaller, if you're talking build instead of ego) then me. And it was inspirational. I felt saved. After seeing someone behave like he's right, even when he's wrong, I knew I wanted to live a life as far from that as I could. And its become about doing a great job for the job's sake, not for getting noticed and getting an attaboy by a buddy buddy manager.
Work here feels like growth, study. The challenge here is the new hot co-worker.
