The Robot's Thoughts

Just to clear the air here, a short while back, I suddenly got back with my ex, who upon graduation, decided to move in with me.

I attended both her graduation ceremonies, and allow me state the advice I would give to anyone regarding the important days of your lives:

The words of the day are Hurry Up and Wait, so if you're in the graduation/marriage/reunion/released from prison/communist party sit back and relax. There's nothing you can really do to speed up the day, as most of it will be spent between taking commerative pictures and rushing to and fro.

That advice was true back when I was working weddings as a floral assistant, and its true now.

I forgot my girlfriend's grandmother's name, so I just called her "Grandma" for the weekend. I think that informality endeared her to me, and the fact that I looked pretty damn snappy in my new suit also seemed to go over well. All in all, things went well. I saw my former roommate and gave him a peace sign. I believe he took it as fucking with his head, which to my credit, I'm not smart enough to think about on the spot otherwise I totally would've done it, but it was merely an indicator that I'm not angry enough anymore to pretend he never existed, and that's all. My car wasn't horribly keyed down one side and up another, so I think that counts as some good neutral dialogue.


So now I'm officially living in sin. As opposed to all those times I've unofficially lived in sin.

Our first day was a rocky start. I think we both really underestimated this venture. We have gotten into a pattern of entertaining each other as temporary weekend guests these past few weeks. We are going to have to re-frame our interactions so that we don't drive each other crazy like that. I will openly admit that my space is a mess right now -- I didn't even notice my transition to caveman, and so there was no way this place was ready for a second person's stuff. I also underestimated the stress of packing everything you need to live for two weeks into a car and driving for 2 hours.

But at the same time, living with another person who you're used to entertaining as opposed to just living with someone is different. I'm a usual proponent about time apart, but I like spending time with her since I now have the priviledge of living with her -- but at the same time, I have to admit that I feel invaded.

Yeah, I said it, invaded.

I live in my head, and the apartment has become the gym for my brain. It is my geek dojo. I come home from the gym, eat, and proceed to work on a side project; it could be reading Buddhist scripture, musical compositions I'm still not confident enough to post, cocoa application development, etc. Its more of a place where I store my stuff and safely abandon the outside meatspace world for whatever I'm doing that night, geekwise. Owning a Mac book pro is one thing, using it to actually get to the next level is another. And I really do feel the urge to get to that next level, whatever it is, because that's really the only way I can ego-justify the purchase I made.

But enough take about being invaded. I owe my girlfriend a backrub, so for all my talk of invasion, I've surrendered.