Tuesday, October 03, 2006
A Tale in Which Our Hero Escapes Unscathed
Friday Night the dance floor was weak. Too many 'girl power' pop anthems that are sweet enough to rot your teeth. It was Planet Marla Singer, and I hugged the walls.
I still had a good time. Just not a great time.
On the way back, while taking a friend home, I took a short cut, unknowing it was a 25 mph zone, and was flagged doing 40. Police typically aren't friendly at 3am on a friday night, where most of the people zooming around have been drinking.
I was going to be given a field sobriety test because the officer smelled booze in the car. Not a problem, my guests had been drinking, and I stopped three hours ago. I was sober.
But I also have acid reflux, and the scary thing about acid reflux is that you belch up a lot more stomach gas, which has a much higher alcohal than the oxygen in your lungs. Breathelyzers don't know that. They're programmed to multiply the alcohal concentration by a set ratio of oxygen:alcohal found in the human lung. Thanks again, reddit.com for linking to that handy advice.
Thankfully, it didn't come to that. As I'm sitting in the back of the police car, prior to being given some kind of field sobriety test, he asks why I moved here. (PA drivers license gives away the fact that I'm not from here. I tell him where I work, and what we're doing.
"That's awesome," He says, "When I was in Iraq in 03, it took forever for us to get our shit."
He asks me about the girls that I'm driving home. We keep chatting, simply because we're waiting for my drivers record to come back, and there are a lot of traffic stops going on. When my record comes back clean, he decides to let me go. He figures the fact that I can have a coherant conversation on security clearances, military logistics, driving habits and accident statistics, etc then I can probably drive the block and half to JS's place.
We get there, and I'm still wired from the fact that I was pulled over. Stuff like that has a tendency to freak you out. So I eat some vegetarian imitation bacon and recount stories of other traffic stops with my SO and JS. After a while, my SO gets tired, so around 4 we drive (obeying the speed limit this time) through the fog back to our place in south village.
Still it was freaky. I knew I was sober, and able to drive. That's why we made a point to go out early, have me stop early, and then finish out the night with water and soda.
Anyway, that was my weekend freakout. I didn't even get a ticket.
I thought that would be more entertaining for all of you that bitching about the current table-rendering/css-incompatibility bug I'm trying to squash at work. Also, to the Microsoft Internet Explorer team out there, I know there's a fellow also named Chris Wilson working there. I appreciate your efforts, but a product as bad as IE6 should simply be voted off the island. Having to deal with its quirks makes me swear at work, and that makes me feel bad for my officemate.
I still had a good time. Just not a great time.
On the way back, while taking a friend home, I took a short cut, unknowing it was a 25 mph zone, and was flagged doing 40. Police typically aren't friendly at 3am on a friday night, where most of the people zooming around have been drinking.
I was going to be given a field sobriety test because the officer smelled booze in the car. Not a problem, my guests had been drinking, and I stopped three hours ago. I was sober.
But I also have acid reflux, and the scary thing about acid reflux is that you belch up a lot more stomach gas, which has a much higher alcohal than the oxygen in your lungs. Breathelyzers don't know that. They're programmed to multiply the alcohal concentration by a set ratio of oxygen:alcohal found in the human lung. Thanks again, reddit.com for linking to that handy advice.
Thankfully, it didn't come to that. As I'm sitting in the back of the police car, prior to being given some kind of field sobriety test, he asks why I moved here. (PA drivers license gives away the fact that I'm not from here. I tell him where I work, and what we're doing.
"That's awesome," He says, "When I was in Iraq in 03, it took forever for us to get our shit."
He asks me about the girls that I'm driving home. We keep chatting, simply because we're waiting for my drivers record to come back, and there are a lot of traffic stops going on. When my record comes back clean, he decides to let me go. He figures the fact that I can have a coherant conversation on security clearances, military logistics, driving habits and accident statistics, etc then I can probably drive the block and half to JS's place.
We get there, and I'm still wired from the fact that I was pulled over. Stuff like that has a tendency to freak you out. So I eat some vegetarian imitation bacon and recount stories of other traffic stops with my SO and JS. After a while, my SO gets tired, so around 4 we drive (obeying the speed limit this time) through the fog back to our place in south village.
Still it was freaky. I knew I was sober, and able to drive. That's why we made a point to go out early, have me stop early, and then finish out the night with water and soda.
Anyway, that was my weekend freakout. I didn't even get a ticket.
I thought that would be more entertaining for all of you that bitching about the current table-rendering/css-incompatibility bug I'm trying to squash at work. Also, to the Microsoft Internet Explorer team out there, I know there's a fellow also named Chris Wilson working there. I appreciate your efforts, but a product as bad as IE6 should simply be voted off the island. Having to deal with its quirks makes me swear at work, and that makes me feel bad for my officemate.
# posted by Chris Wilson : 11:00:00 AM
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