The Robot's Thoughts

Ugh…I hate when I get sent on IT snipe hunts. I’m not going to get my projects done any faster working 10 hour days if 5 hours are spent doing Network Troubleshooting. Unsuccessfully doing it, I might add. Kodak has these SCSI scanners that don’t seem to want to work. Windows doesn’t recognize them. The capture software installs wrong and then won’t uninstall without leaving a crapload of registry keys behind which prevent any further installation from making progress. Two Compaq PCs got turned into doorstops for cause unknown. They keep locking up so frequently virus scans and spyware scans don’t have a chance to get started, much less complete. And my boss is out, so its unlikely he’ll understand if I don’t make deadline.

 

Happy Freakin’ Monday Everyone. I felt like I should get some of this out of my system during lunch, since my inability to get results after such an investment of time looks like ‘no tech skills’, not “this hardware is fucked”. (Potential Causes I haven’t ruled out for the compaq’s uselessness: Bad RAM. Bad Drive.)  More importantly, those scanners need to be setup for a project which is kicked off tomorrow, off-site.  

 

I think I’m going to be doing more then 10 hours overtime this week. So if you see me online, say hi. I’ll probably won’t be getting out much.

 

And neither will most of my buds – finals are coming up soon. Good Luck guys. Go out and show off that moneymaker (your brain, unless you’re sleeping with the professor, which in that case, is your body.)

 

 

# posted by Chris Wilson : 1:18:00 PM links to this post

Hello all. I'm leaving for work, and was ahead of schedule, so I thought I'd leave a little note.

I'm alive and should have been updating, but I was busy. I know, lame excuse.

I'm not sure about the update schedule for the rest of the week. I don't think I'm going to be doing anything interesting this week, except reading sci fi and thinking a lot. I'm working 50 hour weeks for the rest of the year, so I will be getting more sleep to deal with the fact that its a 10 hour day, plus a 2 hour commute (when you factor in both ways).

I'll post something interesting sometime soon. Promise.

Erin cut her hand and it required stiches.
First time i update in over a week, and all I have is semi-bad news. She cried a lot because she hates needles. Lyme Disease when you're a child will make that happen.
But after the pain killer injection, she was fine.

I'm glad I had Chuck come over to see if she should go to the hospital. I told her she probably didn't have to, but had an inkling that I was wrong. I figured, "People who got beat up as much as I have, but have health insurance, can make a better judgement."

And I was right. And it was a good thing it was a sunday, because as emergency room visits go, we were in and out. We got there at 9, we were out by 10:30.

Afterwards, we went impluse shopping at CVS and I bought Erin a lollipop because she had to get shots. It made her feel better. Then we watched an episode of Scrubs, and it ruled.

And now its way late, and I have to get to bed because I have work tomorrow.

People I used to talk to on a daily basis now just put me to voicemail and don't call me back.

I don't know what I did.

I'm not here to play the victim.

But I miss them already....

I hate being needy. It makes me believe I'm going to end up friendless in southside.

Anyone up for Church this sunday?

Work Sucked Today. It made we want to fall asleep.

This weekend sucked my cash flow dry. And I still have to pay off Pitt.

I don't think Alan is going to be having a party at Deja Vu this friday or saturday because he got a new Job in D.C. He's a security consultant. Congrats Alan. And Happy Upcoming Birthday.

Day Two of no smoking, drinking, and no caffeine. I'm exhausted and congested from my head cold, but so far no urge to break them. Everyone will be at Melanie's, but tonight I'm going to cool my jets because I've got some reading and I need to get to sleep super early in order to make sure I can get to work and be well rested and productive.

Tool, Tool, Tool. That's all I am. And I know it. But it sure beats being broke-ass.

And I have plenty of reading materials. After Stranger In A Strange Land and America, A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction, I've got Tomes 1 and 2 of the Baroque Cycle. Each 900 pages. Masterpieces by Neal Stephenson.

And I have the Chappelle show, season 1, on DVD. This stuff isn't getting any less Funny.

And now, in the words of Dave Chappelle, "Wu Tang Klan Ain't Nothing To Fuck With" :)

My last post was kind of negative, so I thought I'd focus on the positive this time.

I didn't smoke or use caffeine at all at work today.
I'm loving my new purchase -- the chappelle show, season 1, on DVD. Its keeping me company while I use the computer.
I listened to two of my friends online about their problems. I only know one online: Sistine Dream. The other was Seth's Ex, Jen. It looks like she and I are going to see him play at Mr. Smalls this sunday. I didn't even know seth was playing. But I can't wait to see him.

I went for Indian Food with Marilyn. I haven't seen Marilyn in a long time, and we haven't gone for indian food together, alone, since we were freshmen. It felt really good to talk to her. We're still not as close as we used to be, but she's still a good friend of mine, and I wish we closer. I think we have to party together, but there's the problem: I think we party with different crowds. But I'm willing to give it a shot.

I took a two hour nap.

That's about all. More later.

The road trip home was as good as could be expected. It was a lot of fun hanging out with Jen. I haven't really ever spoken to her or hung out with her when she and seth were together. I saw her occasionally, but that's about it. She came out with me Jekyl and Hyde's. I let her know I was heading home and she wanted a ride. She's the kind of girl that gets homesick.

Me, I hate home. Coming home really reminded me of that.

Anyway, we listened to tunes off my iPod and talked for the ride. My back was killing me because I have bad posture, and my carseat sucks ass, period. I was impressed by my car; new tires, change of oil and air filter, and the machine really performed. We made great time.

Best moment: "Jen, can you grab my red bull for me?"
Jen gives me a dirty look. I suddenly realize the innuendo.
"I mean the one under your seat."

Laughter ensues.

Jen and I are both bad farters, too. A lot of ass was ripped while we sped down route 80, playing chicken with passing trucks.

Scariest Moment Ever: Some Trucker didn't check his mirrors before deciding to try passing the truck in front of him. We were in left lane, just behind his cab. He kept getting closer and closer. I swerve off onto the shoulder and flash my lights a couple of times. He realizes we're there and swerves back into his lane.

At times like that, I wish my horn worked.

Home was boring, except for Saturday night. Basically I did the things I could, considering I don't really have any control over the family situation. I listened to everyone. Said hello. Tried to get some of their cleaning done for them.

Saturday night was good. I saw Casper, Brian, and Mel. And Pixie and Jamie. I hadn't seen those soapboxers in ages. Its always good to see old friends getting along. It felt like the good old times. We gossiped about Purcell, Colgan, Don and Keelan. But don't tell them we were talking about them behind their backs. You know how that crybaby Keelan is such a total bitch when he gets all worked up. :)

Sunday my dad tried to stop me taking away some of his useless book collection. I was going to place them on half.com or amazon's used book sales and sell them. Its not like he needs all 5 copies of "Mac OS X for Dummies" and "Flat Screen iMacs for Dummies". Especially since he runs OS 9. Not 10, 9. 9 like the german word for No. He claims he's going to sell them, but I know better. He doesn't have DSL. He's already swamped with email. If he doesn't sell online, he won't get the best price. Or the best volumne. So they won't sell and all those books are going to sit there collecting dust until he's six feet under and the only thing left to do with them is BURN THEM FOR FUEL.

When he succeeded in stopping me, I just drove off. So many decisions in his life are made to the point where they cannot be unamde. I can't fix him. All he can be for me is what he was most of my life: A warning of what was to come unless you did everything in your power to counter that descent into loserdom.

That's why I went for Engineering. Average age for an engineer in the field today: 55. In 10 years, I will be naming my price. Hopefully before that, even. But needless to say, I'm going to spend a lot more time cleaning. Getting rid of older things I don't need. And not being an inflexible son of a bitch.

In other words, my self worth depreciated to almost nothing just by seeing close family. So its time to start throwing myself into my job. And making the right decisions financially. And really thinking about the MBA versus Grad School.

And it really makes me want to swear off marriage and kids. And small towns.

The drive back was nice. Jen calmed me down a little. Or at least, took my mind off the fuming anger and depression that results from anytime spent in proximity to anyone sharing my DNA. We stopped at a King's (where I rule) on Jen's advice. Our waitress was wearing a Stiller's Jersey. I asked who won -- Eagles or Steelers. Turns out, the Steeler's won. I screamed "FUCK YEAH!" at the top of my lungs.

My waitress looked at me and said, "Good Choice of words. I wish I could say that at work when the Steelers win."

Fuck yea.

Dropped Jen off, helped her unpack, then stopped by Erin's to see that she got her belly button pierced. It looks good.

Work is starting to get exciting. So now I must sleep.

Bush somehow won the election. Thus proving Kent Brockman right, "I've said it a thousand times people, democracy doesn't work!"

My father is in the hospital with a blood infection, and possibly type 2 diabetes.
My grandfather is also in the hospital, in the critical care unit. 1 step below intensive care. Seems one of his doctor's prescribed some medication that caused heart palpitations.

And Erin and I don't really know where we stand. We've been in a rut for a long time, and we're trying this month to see if we can bring the passion back into our relationship. I'm going to give it, and her, my best and truest shot. But either way, its going to be a hard road for both us.

So those are the three major red flags in my life right now. My mom might be all alone this weekend because my father may or not be released from the hospital by friday. I'm going home home, to lewisburg, to see what help I can be. My father doesn't have health insurance. Or at least, not anything to sneeze at. He works a fucking quickie mart on the graveyard shift. Basically he cards the drop outs and burn outs that still inhabit lewisburg.

So I'll probably be throwing my parents some cash to help with the bills. Time for some more monthly installments towards good karma in the future.

Its late. I've said enough. Sorry this blog is so self absorbed and such a downer. But when you think about what happened on the second, for the 48% of america that voted intelligently, today was like 9/11, the kennedy assassaination, both NASA disasters, and Pearl Harbor all rolled into one.

So I doubt anyone has anything good to say right now. Except Haliburton executives and Fox News.