The Robot's Thoughts

Forget the guys who've stabbed you in the back.
Forget the girls who've broken your heart.
Remember the friends, who've stood with you through thick and thin.
Its these souls that make life worth living.

It was a hard day today. And it looks to be even harder tomorrow.

Just gotta shake it off.

I am worth $2,216,960.00 on HumanForSale.com

Lately things have been going alright. Not great, but not terrible. My head is above water with respect to all the issues I'm dealing with right now. I'm coming up on two weeks without a cigarette. I'm working out with intensity again. And I'm calling friends out of the blue.

And I'm a little excited. New and Old friends are visiting in the next few weeks, and I'm planning on visiting some old friends soon. Just knowing people think I'm worth the drive, and that we're going to have a good time seeing the city, well, it puts a little spring in my step. It gives me the confidence to push myself.

I know I still struggle. I know I still stumble. But now when the rug is swept out from under me, I am getting up faster and faster.

Hey Angel
Fly Over
See me smile
See you fake surprise

Easy Now
One Hand Will Wash The Other
One Hand Will Wash The Other


I worked out today. Same gym, different world. I didn't pay attention to anyone. I was just focused on exhausting my body as soon as possible. I discovered rowing machines are ideal for this. So is benching 3 sets of 165, doing pec flys, and the shoulder shrugs. I didn't last half as long as I wanted (how many times have I said that...) but I was pushing myself and saving nothing for the next exercise.

This is life without a parachute. There is no ripchord or easy button.

And I'm starting to embrace it, finally.

Short recap of why I haven't been updating: My car was stolen and it was too expensive to rent a rental, so I stayed with a friend. Eventually, I rented a rental, a PT cruiser, for about two weeks. Then I finally settled down and purchased myself a 2002 Mitsubishi Galant. Its red. I like it because it has that sensible blend between sporty and fuel efficent, reliable and easy to handle. I know, bottomline, I'm driving a sedan. But I like my sedan.

Now that the whole car saga is over and done with (I hope) I'm going to try to get back onto a regular update schedule.

First observation: In Grand Theft Auto 3, there was this strange little effect of the game we always just called the GTA3 effect. Essentially, the car that you've stolen and are driving is the one you see everywhere. If you're driving a stolen Police Vehicle, you'll see cop cars everywhere. Sports car? You'll see tons of sports cars. Crappy pickup? Then you'll see a lot of crappy pick ups.

We always concluded that this was done to save memory. The textures and information for that car are already in memory, and there's only so much memory you can use on playstation 2.

But it turns out, after driving 2 different cars in 2 weeks, that this effect might be based off how you view the world in real life. Now that I drive a mitsubishi, I see tons of them on the road. And now I see tons of PT crusiers.

Erin, my Ex, turned 21 this past week. I threw a little get together for her on Wed. Just a few close friends who've known the two of us a long time. Did some bar hopping. Got her trashed. Those Big Azz margaritas from Mad Mex did her in, the rest of the night was just icing on the cake.

Then we took her to Jekyl and Hyde's. It was country night. She danced, sung along to the music, and just generally had a good time. For me, it was a good time because I saw Erin actually do things without inhibition. She was just having a good time and letting her personality flow, and going with the moment. Moments like that have been few and far between in the past. It came to me as a comforting fact that what I saw a long time ago is still there, and that someone else will find it, as long as she keep taking it out to show it off. She'll be in good hands once she gets over me.

Saturday she and Jen went out with me, chuck, and big gay Aaron. First we went bowling. It was a good time. Then we decided the night was too young to pack it in and went bar hopping. We definitely overdid the bar hop thing. I know I spent too much money.

First we hit Bar 11. Bar 11 is about as close to a TV College bar as you can get in real life. They give out canday with the drinks -- candy necklaces. Jen was already wasted from the drinking we did when we bowled. I had a candy necklace on.

She took her sweet time. And she found one of those... spots. Let's just say they're erogenous on buttons. I tried to conceal that I was having one hell of a time getting necked by jen, but I couldn't.

And Erin saw it all. It was definitely the big awkward of the night. I don't think she realized that Jen didn't mean anything by it. She's just playful when she's drunk. Like she was wenesday night. I talked to Jen about it, and things between the three of us are cool, but during the night I was doubting seriously if Erin and I could be friends.

We hit a real Irish Pub, and spent a lot of money on good food and even better whiskey. Whiskey still makes me cough. Never let anything you love that's alcohalic go down the wrong pipe.

There was actually a decent (for free) cover band at Wild Bill's Sports Bar. That's how we ended our officially observed St. Patty's Day. And I could've kissed a drunk girl on the nipple, but I chickened out.

But now everything's cool. I'm going to try to have cheaper nights from now. I have real bills to pay. :(

What you have is just as important as what you've lost.