The Robot's Thoughts

There's been a lot of business at work lately, and now that most of that seems to be wrapped up, I'm dealing with the copious amount of free time in different ways, but all of them can be summed up in one word: Procastination.

I should be writing emails filling in some distant people in my life. One of them is in austrailia, probably having the time of her life, and the other just wants to know what's up and what I'm going to call her now I've officially redacted the nickname "Slutwhore".

So I finally figured I should get around to blogging so that I'm actually trying to communicate with people. It sure beats letting the bitterness that is the best of craigslist postings infect my soul. Its not funny like "ha-ha", its funny like "i told you so". *sigh*

Alas, I'd like to share some new vocab words for you -- actually, these are old words, I'm just re-defining them to explain some present experiences that I'm updating you all on..

Blood-curdling: The sound of my girlfriend falling down a flight of stairs as she leaves the apartment to go to work. And not answering when I call after her. Its so blood-curdling, in fact, that when I can't find the shorts that I sleep in, I run down that flight of stairs in my boxer briefs (I switched because they truly offer the support I need, and the comfort I deserve). Thankfully, as unlucky as she was, she came away from the fall with only a few scratches, bruises, and four chipped teeth; I call that a "West Virginia Smile". (Actually, no, I don't. But I wouldn't ever want to do anything to break down any stereotypes of what you think WV is like. )

Frustrating: 911 is that number they teach you, from as early as 5 years of age, that you're supposed to call if you need help. You call the number because you are having an emergency. You don't call up a 911 operator just to talk about how much you like fucking dogs. So when I call 911, and say the following: "My girlfriend fell down a flight of stairs, she's not responding to me, and there's a lot of blood." I would expect a few reasonable replies: "Calm down, sir.", "Take a breath, sir.", "Is blah blah blah the correct address?"

The following is the response I got: "Is this an emergency, sir?"

Hrm. Let me check. I dialed 911, not fucking quizno's. What do you think?

So I repeat myself, only to get the same response. I repeat myself for a third time, and this time, assuming that maybe they replaced my actual 911 operator with Dell Tech Support, english isn't exactly one of this woman's first languages, slower and louder.

I get the same goddamn response. Its like talking to a wall. I said something viscious and hung up. I hung up on 911, because I realized their "like we give a shit" faeries apparently up and quit.

Knowing that you can live on your own, be financially independent, sponsor a child, have a college degree, drink on both coasts, but I lack the judgement to really determine an emergency. I'd like to know what is an emergency, if an injured loved one doesn't count? Could I have called 911 and yell 'global warming'? Is that how we're going to have to solve that problem? Should I have waited until the blood pool went from 'big' to 'really big' to 'that's not coming out ever'?

Seriously, WTF?

So that's my new definition for frustrating. Dealing with fucktards you're supposed to be able to count on. Short of a zombie apocalypse, I expect 911 to answer, assess the situation, and dispatch some emergency help. I'm not asking for Jesus to pick up the next time I'm dialing 991 ("Calm down, my child, all is well, for I have healed her as we spoke. Now knoweth that I a rock hard.")

Queer Eye: This guy. I'm not making fun of him, as hard as that might be to believe. He looks funny when he smiles. I look funny when I smile. He has short black hair worn slicked back/pushed up, I have hair like that. He wears "witty" t-shirts, I wear "witty" t-shirts. He has nerdy-cool glasses, I have nerdy-cool glasses. This guy appears to have a nice apartment, I'm hoping my new apartment will be nice.
I'm not calling him gay, either. I'm just remarking about a more-than-striking likeness. Normally, the fact that i'm not a unique snowflake and that i'm not special would be ego devestating, but I feel confident knowing that there are probably a lot of people exactly like out there. It makes the whole, "You totally remind of my friend so-and-so." sound less demeaning and more observational.

Alright, enough. Thank you for reading this far.

This is Gonna be good....: Paul-Hiking is a hilarious article. I felt I'd share it with everyone (all three of you, Hi, Mom!) that read my blog.

I've definitely been Paul-clubbing and Paul-partying before.

I was excited that the once-a-month chess tournaments were being held this monday (instead of the first monday of the month, the one right before the 4th) so that I could get in on the timed-chess-competition action. One thing I love about chess is meeting the players in the area. Its not like you could tell that they play (and are great) by looking at them. Its one of those things that gives me comfort that a book can't be judged by its cover, and that even the most hickish person in the room might be a tactical genius. Surprises like that (compared to the alternative of a cousin-grinding stereotype) make me appreciate the uniqueness here.

Yeah, you heard me right. Action. mmmmkkay?

I even left work a little early (e.g. on time) to go to said tournament.

However, for some reason or another, it was cancelled. So I did the usual when at the bean, smoked cigarettes I know I shouldn't smoke, and talked to the fellow regulars. I had a debate over whether or not Pirates of the Carribean was merely a shamelessly lame ploy to get a lot of money by showing Johnny Depp in Eyeshadow, or if it had some kind of plot significance.

My compatriots were very satisfied with the movie. Captain Jack Sparrow is a new hero to them. He's beloved. I just felt a lot of the plot felt contrived and roundabout, and nothing serious to the plot got resolved. They even got a critical plot point backwards: To find out why Davy Jones, the villian, went from "greatest sailor" to "evil scurge of the sea", we have to see the third movie in the trilogy.

Basically, after a more debate then the topic merits, we came to a conclusion: Its a remake of "The Empire Strikes Back", except it lacks a few crucial elements that allowed Empire to stand on its own. This one is far more interwoven, its had dependencies on the previous and upcoming movie. While that is disappointing in my book, the fact that disney (a lame media corporation) is attempting to do something as cool as the original star wars triology (as opposed to, you know, lost singing animals and/or direct to dvd sequels to previously overexploited commerical properties that were in no way timeless. ) I feel that link is entirely appropriate. If I ever decide that I hate you or your children, I will buy them one of these landfill occupying turds.

I admire them, I just don't hope it ends like some disappointing trilogies by Time-Warner where the real way to proclaim your faith in the movies is to claim that you're still waiting for the "true sequels" of the Matrix. Where, like computer geeks worldover, he does not get kissed by the girl. He does not live. He is not the one. And he re-spawns out of the closest hospitial, short five grand and all his cool weapons. But his wanted level is finally back to zero.

I got invited to a "Pirate Party" the weekend that I move. I'm tempted to go, but I'm even more tempted to crash -- Pirates hate ninjas. And a skilled ninja is easily equal to 5 pirates in combat. And if I get my ass kicked, it will be harder for me to unpack all the boxes I'm going to have my stuff in.

Enough. I'm out.

I shipped out my Mac book pro laptop to be serviced around 1:30pm Friday.
It was waiting for me on the steps to my apartment when I came home for lunch at 11:30am.

It was only gone a weekend.
They replaced pretty much the entire cooling system, including all of apple's built in temperature sensors.
It runs about 20 degrees cooler, judging from the half an hour I spent using it.

I'm very satisfied with Apple's service, and almost as satisfied with their product.

A list of 10 great open source apps for OS X can be found here:
http://www.boydcreative.net/apple/top-10-open-source-os-x-apps/

We live in crazy times, and America is a strange place. West Virginia, by far, is stranger. We live a country where the poor can afford to be fat (as opposed to starving) and the rich can afford to be thin. Intellect is bought and subjugated, and personal beauty manufactured on every plastic surgeon's operating table. Presidential Elections are decided by Charisma, not platforms.

We, in general terms here, are also more isolated and despondent. It seems many of us find ourselves struggling to build lasting relationships post-college. Many of us, in a deathblow to working class unity, actively shun the thought that our co-workers will become our new friends and family. Even when they've been there when you needed them in the past. A friend of mine's back of the envelope calculation simply yields a "People are assholes" reasoning to explain why everyone is so insular: Aside from being hostile to change, and humanity being a flawed creation, what is the real explanation here?

I think this is really a side effect of The Long Tail. We've become more selective in what voices we acknowledge. We've become more apt for finding obscure media that meets or exceeds our expectations, and have, as a result, become more discerning consumers.

A great example of this is the movie Snakes On A Plane. It was intended as simply a working title, but its truth in advertising has caused a fan base for this otherwise mundane action/horror movie. There's a segment that's excited for not having to wade through hollywood's marketingspeak; Just as there's a segment who believe in no-hassle car buying.

In short, we've found ways to find media to suit our tastes, and now with people becoming more of an open book on social networking, we're simply becoming more selective. If we don't hear what we want to hear from that new friend we just met on myspace, we move on. One of the most cunning people I've met had the ability to make you agree with his side even as you disagreed with his actions. He said the only way to offer true friendship is to expect nothing. The converse, he said, is that if you never want to see someone again, simply loan them a large sum of money with the expectation that they will pay you back.

In a world where friendship is more of a hand-waving gesture than a bond, the reality is (as was pointed out to me) that you can be considered abrasive for calling a spade a spade. Complain that the dive bars shouldn't charge covers because it isn't doing anything to keep out the riff-raff? Abrasive. Mention in passing how you see a lot more motorcyclists on the road? Abrasive (for apparently, either suggesting that WVers don't know the significantly elevated risks, or worse, have nothing to live for; I'm still not sure. Especially since I'm saving up to buy one.) Pointing out the [economic] stupidity of working two jobs just to pimp out the depreciating asset that is your 91 Chevy cavalier? Abrasive.

My reaction to this 'filtering' that all of us is guilty of doing? Probably the same as everyone else's: Not really giving a fuck. Is it worth censoring yourself to gain the approval of people who would not like who you really are? Absolutely not. Start Mincing words and blending nuances and you'll find yourself praising ignorance and condemning simplicity, when it should be the other way around.

WV has come along way from the days where they'd simply set out the bodies of the dead mine workers by the mine enterance at the end of every work day (but still has a way to go.) but its not a cosmopolitian or utopian society. People here say "real bad" instead of "really bad". Dress codes for night outings mean 'no sweats'. Odds are, a trip to Morgantown on a saturday night will likely earn a full moon view of some WVU frat boy's ass. You might run into a hambeast and kidlets breaking a sweat trudging through the wal mart parking lot.

It is what it is. Is it ideal? No. Is it home? Yes.

My Mac Book Pro has been frustratingly un-reliable lately, mostly because it overheats. There's a known issue where many mac book pros seem to be running hot because of an overapplication of thermal paste, which, in copious quantities, acts as a thermal insulator and less like a heat sink.

Friends of mine who are certified apple techs have reported huge improvements after being serviced.

So I'm biting the bullet, and arranging to have my mac book pro sent off to be serviced by Apple's techs. I'm hoping that it won't take more than a week round trip, and that my computer will be better off for it.