Friday, April 13, 2007
Know Thyself
I am a geek, and like all geeks, I know a little something about myself. I know that I've gotten into the zone before when it comes to developing. Its that lucid moment of azure brilliance when the entire system you're working on clicks. You can see its future shape, in its entirety, and all movements to implement it fade out of consciousness. You are no longer actively creating it here, planning ahead on what modules will be impacted by your most recent changes, but simply willing the visualized system into its perfect form. Everything else becomes white noise.
Days like that are precious. Not just because work wise you're able to leap over tall buildings with a single bound, but because that sense of accomplishment can negate stress in a way nothing else can.
I'm not having any days like this recently. Without a hot streak, work can drag on. Little stresses, like tiny cracks in a dam, feel like they're expanding. You feel downtrodden. Like its continually day 3 of quitting smoking.
And its not because of anything work related. In fact, I feel that the cause is what's happening outside of work. My life is getting more complex faster than I can scale. In short, I am overwhelmed, and there's no quick fix, so I end up doing what little I can, plowing through the mess, and losing as little sleep over it as possible.
It sounds naive, but I know myself, and I like life on auto pilot. Searching for new apartments, shopping for better insurance, tuning up my car in less than scheduled intervals, dealing with new medical benefits, all of it. Its disruptive to my concentration. With all that in the forefront of my brain, how am I supposed to have that flash of inspiration in the shower that shows me how to fix a show stopping bug that's left everyone clueless for a week in 15 minutes?
Its a quirk. Some people can deal with complexity better than others. I know people who keep signing up for 0% APR credit cards for the first year and moving all their debt around. Me, I worry about how all that revolving credit adds up, and keeping track of each card to me and what perks and point that come with just seems like a waste of brain space. I prefer the method of sticking with the cards that you have and avoid paying interest by not carrying a balance.
Some people can sign up for some free trial service for a perk, and avoid paying a dime for it by returning said perk or canceling said perk before the 30-day trial period is up. I know they're counting on me to forget and make most of their money by having people get burned by their scam trial. That con outweighs any pro to me.
It boils down to the "life as a system" view. I know I inherently prefer non-orthogonal systems, where as your life is orthogonal. One thing affects another. An example of this domino effect is here: Your commute affects your morning mood. Your morning mood affects your afternoon mood. Your afternoon mood affect your evening mood. And so on. (I don't really have a commute, since I live 2.0 miles from parking space to parking space, its just an example).
I would very much not hate the devil's in the details digging around that is forced upon me from time to time if they were less orthogonal in terms of impact.
Labels: late night, personal, ramblings
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Wired
I'm up late because I worked out late, and in an effort to shorten the recovery time (it was chest day) I took one of those "Speed Stacker" drinks that contains way too much caffeine. Imagine if someone made a "dietary supplment" with a philosophy of "We will show you what's up, RedBull".
Wide awake.
Had another wonderful car surprise today. The battery just up and died. I managed to jumpstart my car and take it into the shop, but I'm getting that "this is less than 100% reliable" feeling. But its still my girl, and until its 100% paid off free and clear, its all I've got. I live so close to work that I should seriously consider just walking to work. Consider it when the massive cold front finally fades away and we get some nice spring weather.
And walking to work might make sense since
there is talk that gasoline might make it to $4/gal this summer.
Makes taking that road trip to the outer banks that much more painful on the wallet.
There is some sweet news to rejoice about, however, and that is a
Battlestar Galactica mod called "Beyond the Red Line".
It uses the Freespace 2 engine, which was open sourced and is widely regarded as the "best" or "most fun" space sim engine. It was also known back in its heyday as having the most innovative eye candy, and yet, still be playable without having perform crazy amounts of hardware upgrades. The Open Source Engine hasn't apparently been left to linger, either. Its been upgraded to take advantage of the newer features of GPUs. Its almost impossible to play without a keyboard that has a full numeric pad, or a joystick. That's your first and only warning. The life of a viper pilot is not for the feint of heart.
Here's another fun fact coming at you from Consumerist.com. Corporate profits are up 106%. Average CEO pay is up 298% and the average corporate wage slave is only seeing a 4.5% growth in what he brings home. Yes, people talk about how engineers are "better off" starting out in college compared to someone who graduates with an English degree and starts selling life insurance.
The irony is we're smart enough to do math and realize we're being nickel and dime'd to death. The unintended consequence is that engineers aren't putting down roots. They're not investing in skills like interpersonal communication that will help team building. They're learning the next set of resume keywords that will shift them to their next position and next pay grade.
Or worse, we're just going to law school.
Its a sad thing, and its simply an unintended consequence of "bottom line" policies. When pay and benefits really only look great for a year or two from a company before you start looking to split, loyalty to the people that sign your pay checks is a thing of the past.
I guess I can see the value of becoming your own employer.
Speaking of employment, a friend of mine recently committed a cardinal sin. He's been looking for a job that uses his engineering degree and has had no success. I knew some people that were hiring, and was hounding him to apply for the entry level positions posted on the company's website. But since he didn't pick up the phone when he was signed into Xbox Live (as was I) I've decided to just let the guy sink or swim on his own.
So let this be a life-lesson. If you sign into xbox live, and your phone immediately rings, its probably someone wanting to play co-op crackdown or gears of war. Don't disapoint.
Wide awake.
Had another wonderful car surprise today. The battery just up and died. I managed to jumpstart my car and take it into the shop, but I'm getting that "this is less than 100% reliable" feeling. But its still my girl, and until its 100% paid off free and clear, its all I've got. I live so close to work that I should seriously consider just walking to work. Consider it when the massive cold front finally fades away and we get some nice spring weather.
And walking to work might make sense since
there is talk that gasoline might make it to $4/gal this summer.
Makes taking that road trip to the outer banks that much more painful on the wallet.
There is some sweet news to rejoice about, however, and that is a
Battlestar Galactica mod called "Beyond the Red Line".
It uses the Freespace 2 engine, which was open sourced and is widely regarded as the "best" or "most fun" space sim engine. It was also known back in its heyday as having the most innovative eye candy, and yet, still be playable without having perform crazy amounts of hardware upgrades. The Open Source Engine hasn't apparently been left to linger, either. Its been upgraded to take advantage of the newer features of GPUs. Its almost impossible to play without a keyboard that has a full numeric pad, or a joystick. That's your first and only warning. The life of a viper pilot is not for the feint of heart.
Here's another fun fact coming at you from Consumerist.com. Corporate profits are up 106%. Average CEO pay is up 298% and the average corporate wage slave is only seeing a 4.5% growth in what he brings home. Yes, people talk about how engineers are "better off" starting out in college compared to someone who graduates with an English degree and starts selling life insurance.
The irony is we're smart enough to do math and realize we're being nickel and dime'd to death. The unintended consequence is that engineers aren't putting down roots. They're not investing in skills like interpersonal communication that will help team building. They're learning the next set of resume keywords that will shift them to their next position and next pay grade.
Or worse, we're just going to law school.
Its a sad thing, and its simply an unintended consequence of "bottom line" policies. When pay and benefits really only look great for a year or two from a company before you start looking to split, loyalty to the people that sign your pay checks is a thing of the past.
I guess I can see the value of becoming your own employer.
Speaking of employment, a friend of mine recently committed a cardinal sin. He's been looking for a job that uses his engineering degree and has had no success. I knew some people that were hiring, and was hounding him to apply for the entry level positions posted on the company's website. But since he didn't pick up the phone when he was signed into Xbox Live (as was I) I've decided to just let the guy sink or swim on his own.
So let this be a life-lesson. If you sign into xbox live, and your phone immediately rings, its probably someone wanting to play co-op crackdown or gears of war. Don't disapoint.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Bad Day
You know how some people have that "happy place"?
Today I ended up in the opposite of the happy place -- the "terror place".
It looks a lot like the clown bed that made Bart Simpson state, "Can't sleep, clowns will eat me...."
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Update-mania
I just bought a new Sony Handycam camcorder. I'm pretty stoked by it. Decent Image quality. MiniDV tape storage. Firewire interface. The "Night Shot" -- made famous by Pairs Hilton. Electronic Image Stabilization. Upgradeable Lens. Tripod Capable. Can utilize bluetooth microphones. All the cool features I need to start humiliating myself (and friends) on YouTube.
I got it on sale. It was also the floor model. It was cheap.
And it sounds ridiculous to announce that when I'm in a mode of fiscal responsibility. I am now tracking transactions using
Buddi, an open-source money management software. By tracking my money, it can help me learn where I splurge or mis-manage my assets. Or so the theory goes. We shall see, n'est-ce pas?
I've also recently taken steps to find cheaper car insurance (but maintain the same coverage) and while its been a hassle filing out so many applications, the end result is that I've found a place that will be $168/year cheaper. As dumb as it sounds, it pays the shop around.
I've also researched my credit history, and surprise surprise, found three black marks that did not belong to me. They're being removed as we speak.
And as lame as this sounds, I've started saving for a house. Its a long term thing, but that's how compound interest works in your favor. Again, we'll see how long I can maintain the discipline of saving 10% of my income.
But there's even bigger news than all the bullshit number crunching I've been doing. My SO got into grad school. She'll be getting her master's in counseling. Everyone is excited for her, and relieved to know that she got in.
This means two things: I'll probably be moving to Morgantown sometime soon, probably this summer, and that I'll probably be paying all of the rent. Hopefully I can carpool with some of my Morgantown dwelling co-workers.
While waiting for my SO to get home, I played Resident Evil 4 again. I love that game. I've beaten it twice, going on three times. I am on the "PRO" difficulty. Its insane. I have no ammo. Or health. I am fighting off zombies with a pocket knife. This game was a 24th birthday gift, or anniversary gift, or something my SO got me for Valentine's. I'm still playing it because when I lived in my older apartment here in Fairmont, living by myself, I played this game in the dark for hours at a time. It was terrifying. You start to run from a zombie to get breathing room and time to reload, and they chase you the moment your back is turned. When you turn around to face you un-living enemy, they're right there. You're about to be grabbed.
I can play this game, easily, without a need to move on to the next generation of "Hi-Def" gameplay. "High Definition" comes from storyline, voice acting, interactive cut scenes, and gameplay. Not graphics. Its a mistake people make everytime a system comes out, with new "proof of concept games".
But still, I lust for crackdown. I won't deny that at all. And when my friend, the Saint of all Chucks, turns 25 this friday/saturday and officially becomes old and lame (as I did, when I turned 25) I'm hoping my friend Bill will actually haul his lame ass out of his apartment, and bring his Xbox 360 with him, so that we can engage in a systemlink co-op game of crackdown.
I got it on sale. It was also the floor model. It was cheap.
And it sounds ridiculous to announce that when I'm in a mode of fiscal responsibility. I am now tracking transactions using
Buddi, an open-source money management software. By tracking my money, it can help me learn where I splurge or mis-manage my assets. Or so the theory goes. We shall see, n'est-ce pas?
I've also recently taken steps to find cheaper car insurance (but maintain the same coverage) and while its been a hassle filing out so many applications, the end result is that I've found a place that will be $168/year cheaper. As dumb as it sounds, it pays the shop around.
I've also researched my credit history, and surprise surprise, found three black marks that did not belong to me. They're being removed as we speak.
And as lame as this sounds, I've started saving for a house. Its a long term thing, but that's how compound interest works in your favor. Again, we'll see how long I can maintain the discipline of saving 10% of my income.
But there's even bigger news than all the bullshit number crunching I've been doing. My SO got into grad school. She'll be getting her master's in counseling. Everyone is excited for her, and relieved to know that she got in.
This means two things: I'll probably be moving to Morgantown sometime soon, probably this summer, and that I'll probably be paying all of the rent. Hopefully I can carpool with some of my Morgantown dwelling co-workers.
While waiting for my SO to get home, I played Resident Evil 4 again. I love that game. I've beaten it twice, going on three times. I am on the "PRO" difficulty. Its insane. I have no ammo. Or health. I am fighting off zombies with a pocket knife. This game was a 24th birthday gift, or anniversary gift, or something my SO got me for Valentine's. I'm still playing it because when I lived in my older apartment here in Fairmont, living by myself, I played this game in the dark for hours at a time. It was terrifying. You start to run from a zombie to get breathing room and time to reload, and they chase you the moment your back is turned. When you turn around to face you un-living enemy, they're right there. You're about to be grabbed.
I can play this game, easily, without a need to move on to the next generation of "Hi-Def" gameplay. "High Definition" comes from storyline, voice acting, interactive cut scenes, and gameplay. Not graphics. Its a mistake people make everytime a system comes out, with new "proof of concept games".
But still, I lust for crackdown. I won't deny that at all. And when my friend, the Saint of all Chucks, turns 25 this friday/saturday and officially becomes old and lame (as I did, when I turned 25) I'm hoping my friend Bill will actually haul his lame ass out of his apartment, and bring his Xbox 360 with him, so that we can engage in a systemlink co-op game of crackdown.
Labels: cars, gadgets, personal
