Tuesday, May 29, 2007
One thing for the friends that I visit.
One thing I realized in Pittsburgh. I will drive my friends crazy.
I realized I must've nagged my friend about CFLs at least three separate times, even though he's not responsible for paying the power bill.
I think I also nagged him about recycling glass and aluminum, since we were drinking so many beverages that come packaged in one of those two forms. I think this is because I've recently started recycling outside of the office now that I've found a drop point that accepts more than aluminum and glass. And since I started my workplace's recycling program, I guess I'm just a little bit more gung ho than most people.
This is why I'm glad I only visit for a weekend or so at a time. Because I'm so incredibly annoying that its probably better that I split in under 48 hours for their sake.
I guess "not nagging impoverished grad students" will be my first goal to try to really work on.
I realized I must've nagged my friend about CFLs at least three separate times, even though he's not responsible for paying the power bill.
I think I also nagged him about recycling glass and aluminum, since we were drinking so many beverages that come packaged in one of those two forms. I think this is because I've recently started recycling outside of the office now that I've found a drop point that accepts more than aluminum and glass. And since I started my workplace's recycling program, I guess I'm just a little bit more gung ho than most people.
This is why I'm glad I only visit for a weekend or so at a time. Because I'm so incredibly annoying that its probably better that I split in under 48 hours for their sake.
I guess "not nagging impoverished grad students" will be my first goal to try to really work on.
On Patterns
I've been meaning to write an update for a while, but with a move going on, seeing a friend off before he leaves for Australia, and just the usual apathy to blog about what little goes on my life that I feel comfortable broadcasting on the internet have led to a minor back up in content worth writing about.
I've been reflecting a lot. And I've been thinking about Patterns. In the terminology of a software engineer, a Pattern is supposed to be a term that describes a problem or solution to a problem. This way, previously recognized problems that have already been addressed by optimal solutions can be accurately described between one engineer and another -- they're 'above the domain'. (You can find a basic definition and more about the phrase "Design Pattern" here.
I've been thinking about Patterns with respect to personal interaction or personal relationships. I want to explicitly state that I'm steering away from archetype or stereotypes in a way to classify the people you meet. I'm more interested in how a pattern, or at least an acknowledged similarity in situations and interactions, and it gives us a predictability with respect to people that fall into that pattern.
Here's an example of the kind of predictive power I'm talking about. In my first relationship, my love at the time left for college before I did. In fact, where she went to college pretty much decided for me where I was going to go to college. I went to visit her in October, and that's where I met one of her close friends, Brad. Sometime during watching Rocky Horror Picture Show on halloween, Brad started playing with a Sharpie marker, and started writing on my girlfriend. Harmless flirting, right?
Fast forward a year until I'm a freshmen in college with my good friend M.H. M.H. had a cute asian boyfriend that was a guitarist for a semi-popular band at temple. They were trying to do the whole distance relationship thing. M.H. definitely had her doubts about it, but she was in love and headstrong about it, which is really the only way to be about it, and when she went to visit him at Temple, she discovered that several girls has written on his stomach and hips with a sharpie marker.
Now, my only evidence here is anecdotal, and had they lasted through college (which, when you evaluate the odds statistically speaking, was practically zero unless one of them transferred after the first year. Let's all just acknowledge that the only two things relationships have going for them are geographical proximity and the momentum of the relationship. Losing one and you've still got one engine left on which to limp around with. Lose both and you're plummeting out of the sky.) my point would be null and void, but I guess my point is that I've been hanging around college-age students since I was 16. So for the past 9 years I've watched people go through the same struggles over and over -- myself included.
I have seen people deal with the fear of being liked and fitting into the group -- again and again. I have seen people deal with the fear of rejection by pushing away or over-compensating. I've seen the couples where both people are too apathetic to make any changes in their life which would really result in their hapiness -- they are doomed to be each other. I have seen one person put it all on the line for the love of another, only to have to slink off to the corner and lick their wounds.
In some ways, I can predict the endings and they seem as packaged as the series finale of friends. In others, I know I have the ability to change the discourse -- and the direction, but so far, at least here in WV, I've made a point to stay out of people's lives. Let their business be their business.
The reason I've been reflecting upon this so much because I've noticed a certain stability about my pattern since graduation. I've been the graduate who's sticking around and making friends with college students that can go to bars. I'm not ashamed of it, as I'm only so personable and I had to make friends when I moved to an area where I knew nobody, but I feel its been one of the factors of my life that's inhibiting my personal development. I've been the guy showing off what little success I've had and showing people what might be "the smarter set" of options for them to consider when they're graduates. I find it easy to involve myself and advise people on the little problems that border on the menial intrigues of life.
It's like being the oldest. You can guide people through the paths you've walked and tell them about the decisions you've made and the regrets you have, but you don't really know what's over the next horizon. You know a few people buying their first house, their first 'dream car' or simply building a home entertainment center on credit card, but you don't see any of the real struggles or problems, and you're not part of that loop where they'd come to you for help, so there's no pattern for you copy in your own happiness.
You have to blaze a trail. And you alone have to hope it ends up leading towards that elusive goal of long term happiness.
I'm trying to come up with a strategy that's better than "this works for me" and "allow me to defend what's working for me to people who I feel do not share my unconventional world views". And that requires growth. Growth at this point isn't something that's hard to come by these days, but direction is. I need a direction to grow.
For geeks, as I've said before, the direction that seems most natural is what I call the 'horizontal' growth. Learn more career related skills. Branch out more. Increase your employability. I can do that all I want, but at the end of the day, I don't think the programming language I sling code in is going to have a measurable effect in my quality of life in the long term compared to devoting my energy into other efforts to do so.
What's a geek to do when there's no existing tribal wisdom for what ails him?
I've been reflecting a lot. And I've been thinking about Patterns. In the terminology of a software engineer, a Pattern is supposed to be a term that describes a problem or solution to a problem. This way, previously recognized problems that have already been addressed by optimal solutions can be accurately described between one engineer and another -- they're 'above the domain'. (You can find a basic definition and more about the phrase "Design Pattern" here.
I've been thinking about Patterns with respect to personal interaction or personal relationships. I want to explicitly state that I'm steering away from archetype or stereotypes in a way to classify the people you meet. I'm more interested in how a pattern, or at least an acknowledged similarity in situations and interactions, and it gives us a predictability with respect to people that fall into that pattern.
Here's an example of the kind of predictive power I'm talking about. In my first relationship, my love at the time left for college before I did. In fact, where she went to college pretty much decided for me where I was going to go to college. I went to visit her in October, and that's where I met one of her close friends, Brad. Sometime during watching Rocky Horror Picture Show on halloween, Brad started playing with a Sharpie marker, and started writing on my girlfriend. Harmless flirting, right?
Fast forward a year until I'm a freshmen in college with my good friend M.H. M.H. had a cute asian boyfriend that was a guitarist for a semi-popular band at temple. They were trying to do the whole distance relationship thing. M.H. definitely had her doubts about it, but she was in love and headstrong about it, which is really the only way to be about it, and when she went to visit him at Temple, she discovered that several girls has written on his stomach and hips with a sharpie marker.
Now, my only evidence here is anecdotal, and had they lasted through college (which, when you evaluate the odds statistically speaking, was practically zero unless one of them transferred after the first year. Let's all just acknowledge that the only two things relationships have going for them are geographical proximity and the momentum of the relationship. Losing one and you've still got one engine left on which to limp around with. Lose both and you're plummeting out of the sky.) my point would be null and void, but I guess my point is that I've been hanging around college-age students since I was 16. So for the past 9 years I've watched people go through the same struggles over and over -- myself included.
I have seen people deal with the fear of being liked and fitting into the group -- again and again. I have seen people deal with the fear of rejection by pushing away or over-compensating. I've seen the couples where both people are too apathetic to make any changes in their life which would really result in their hapiness -- they are doomed to be each other. I have seen one person put it all on the line for the love of another, only to have to slink off to the corner and lick their wounds.
In some ways, I can predict the endings and they seem as packaged as the series finale of friends. In others, I know I have the ability to change the discourse -- and the direction, but so far, at least here in WV, I've made a point to stay out of people's lives. Let their business be their business.
The reason I've been reflecting upon this so much because I've noticed a certain stability about my pattern since graduation. I've been the graduate who's sticking around and making friends with college students that can go to bars. I'm not ashamed of it, as I'm only so personable and I had to make friends when I moved to an area where I knew nobody, but I feel its been one of the factors of my life that's inhibiting my personal development. I've been the guy showing off what little success I've had and showing people what might be "the smarter set" of options for them to consider when they're graduates. I find it easy to involve myself and advise people on the little problems that border on the menial intrigues of life.
It's like being the oldest. You can guide people through the paths you've walked and tell them about the decisions you've made and the regrets you have, but you don't really know what's over the next horizon. You know a few people buying their first house, their first 'dream car' or simply building a home entertainment center on credit card, but you don't see any of the real struggles or problems, and you're not part of that loop where they'd come to you for help, so there's no pattern for you copy in your own happiness.
You have to blaze a trail. And you alone have to hope it ends up leading towards that elusive goal of long term happiness.
I'm trying to come up with a strategy that's better than "this works for me" and "allow me to defend what's working for me to people who I feel do not share my unconventional world views". And that requires growth. Growth at this point isn't something that's hard to come by these days, but direction is. I need a direction to grow.
For geeks, as I've said before, the direction that seems most natural is what I call the 'horizontal' growth. Learn more career related skills. Branch out more. Increase your employability. I can do that all I want, but at the end of the day, I don't think the programming language I sling code in is going to have a measurable effect in my quality of life in the long term compared to devoting my energy into other efforts to do so.
What's a geek to do when there's no existing tribal wisdom for what ails him?
Labels: late night, life is short, personal, ramblings, thoughts
Friday, May 11, 2007
Via Reddit: What I've been reading online.
Can't afford a home? Don't worry -- your taxes will pay for someone else's!
Switching to CFLs world wide could lead to the shut down of over 270 coal fired power plants.
Here's an article titled: Giving up on Microsoft
Men's Health: Genius Junk Food
Report shows consumers being price gouged at the gas pump
This article talks about how now that the housing market is collasping, house prices are falling. So if you were intelligent and have good credit, now would be a good time to buy, except that some states are issuing tax-income subsides and state-bond backed loans to people who took advantage of the sub prime lending craze. So home prices aren't dropping -- benefiting the rich who bought homes at inflated values, and benefiting those who have already proven they are a bad credit risk. So basically, in many states right now, you are being penalized for doing the right thing and being a responsible citizen.
Switching to CFLs world wide could lead to the shut down of over 270 coal fired power plants.
This is one of the low-hanging fruit we can all take part in (and save a few dollars ourselves in the long run) that benefits both our wallet and the environment.
Here's an article titled: Giving up on Microsoft
The guy basically talks about how his perception of computing was "Why do people hate Microsoft so much?" Then he actually tried to develop to web standards and found that nothign really works with Microsoft. Its more complicated than that. He makes overtures about reaching across the isle and what not, but this article deserves a full response blog post.
Men's Health: Genius Junk Food
It turns out things like sour cream and pork rinds and coconut won't kill you if you use them in moderation.
Report shows consumers being price gouged at the gas pump
This one is from the "As if anybody didn't know" department.
Labels: ramblings, Reddit, thoughts
Monday, May 07, 2007
Bill Moyers Interviews Jon Stewart
Bill Moyers interviews Jon Stewart.
Jon Stewart, in this interview, is as insightful about the truth of the games being played in D.C. as he is funny on comedy central. Well worth the half hour.
Check it out here.
Jon Stewart, in this interview, is as insightful about the truth of the games being played in D.C. as he is funny on comedy central. Well worth the half hour.
Check it out here.
Labels: Bill Moyers, Jon Stewart, PBS, politics, quicktime, Reddit, video
Cinco De Mayo
Cinco De Mayo this year was definitely about hedonism here in my little sector of the universe. I saw this because instead of tossing back a drink or two and sobering up before I even felt tipsy, I entered that state of entertainingly drunk where someone was actually able to convince me that the phrase, "You're the biggest douchebag I know" is actually a compliment, and half succeeded.
I'd like to point out to anyone that's actually reading this via my facebook blog feed on my profile that facebook is NOT Las Vegas. After being told who my new office roommate is going to be in a month, when she graduates from WVU's graduate CompSci program, I immediately found her on facebook. I messaged her and sent a friend request. Just trying to welcome her to her new career. I have not been face booked back. This could be that she is not addicted to face book like some of the people that I know, or that after viewing my profile, she's decided to hit up Monster.com and find somewhere else to work, but the devilish part of me wonders if she read the message and thought to hide pics of her drinking for fear of giving a bad impression.
Wait till she learns our company has an open bar at the company Christmas party, and how the team I'm on, since we've had a good year, celebrated with a huge helping of shots. Without naming any names, somebody who's never puked before met Mr. Jagerbomb and defiled a bathroom at Bent Willey's.
I guess I'm talking about this because of the obvious: Change causes trepidation. Especially the little changes. I have less stress over the decision to move here from Pittsburgh than I do knowing that in a few weeks I'll be occupying my supervisor's old office. All the space issues I have with my current office mate have been worked out. When I have an ocular migraines, he's comfortable working with the lights out, even as I struggle through the aftershock headache once I get my vision back. I know to crank my iPod volume up when he's doing metrics for his system -- they always seem to backfire at times and require a reboot of his system once or twice. This involves a lot of swearing on his part. He doesn't even look twice when I walk in later than usual with no real excuse except "I plan on staying late today" (this usually means I was unable to hear my alarm -- which is just my cell phone -- or I simply overslept from a late night.)
So I'm curious to know if I'm going to be able to ramble on about xkcd comics and "The Office" or if I'll have to incorporate more of the 'chit chat' style of talking: What's the difference between a 'classic' and an 'open' golf tournament. How about them mountaineers? Talk about this beautiful/crazy/depressing/enjoyable weather we're having so much of today? What's the deal with this memo from HR?
If you can't tell, I still carry a protective 'shell' around me at work. Maybe because between my last workplace experience and a relationship without trust have left me partially open to the idea that I'm just a difficult person to be around.
The progression goes 'quirky' to 'difficult' to 'douchebag' (one again, a tip of the hat and a wag of the finger to Ms. Sly -- you're quite the cheeky one.) to 'total asshole'. And while I've never vowed to be so hateful and petty as the 'top performers' at my last work place -- who, as the universe as my witness -- must've been sexually aroused by the thought of humiliating people they worked with -- I'd like to think that I leave the more abrasive parts of my personality at home. I have a job to do.
And so do the people around me.
So while there are articles appearing left and right (usually because some PR firm paid for them that you're to scrub and sanitize your myspace and facebook profile as employers are looking in with that 'we don't get it' and 'we are a morality police, and if you so much as drink a beer in your free time and/or enjoy life, we will hire someone else' I say embrace the hedonism. Let go a little. People who work hard play hard. And an entry level salary is a poor excuse for why you're conforming, anyway.
Whatever you do, be proud of it. Let go and embrace it. Just don't start up a blog about how much you love your 4 cylinder sports sedan, your cats, and other things that people don't really care about. It bores all of us to tears.
I'd like to point out to anyone that's actually reading this via my facebook blog feed on my profile that facebook is NOT Las Vegas. After being told who my new office roommate is going to be in a month, when she graduates from WVU's graduate CompSci program, I immediately found her on facebook. I messaged her and sent a friend request. Just trying to welcome her to her new career. I have not been face booked back. This could be that she is not addicted to face book like some of the people that I know, or that after viewing my profile, she's decided to hit up Monster.com and find somewhere else to work, but the devilish part of me wonders if she read the message and thought to hide pics of her drinking for fear of giving a bad impression.
Wait till she learns our company has an open bar at the company Christmas party, and how the team I'm on, since we've had a good year, celebrated with a huge helping of shots. Without naming any names, somebody who's never puked before met Mr. Jagerbomb and defiled a bathroom at Bent Willey's.
I guess I'm talking about this because of the obvious: Change causes trepidation. Especially the little changes. I have less stress over the decision to move here from Pittsburgh than I do knowing that in a few weeks I'll be occupying my supervisor's old office. All the space issues I have with my current office mate have been worked out. When I have an ocular migraines, he's comfortable working with the lights out, even as I struggle through the aftershock headache once I get my vision back. I know to crank my iPod volume up when he's doing metrics for his system -- they always seem to backfire at times and require a reboot of his system once or twice. This involves a lot of swearing on his part. He doesn't even look twice when I walk in later than usual with no real excuse except "I plan on staying late today" (this usually means I was unable to hear my alarm -- which is just my cell phone -- or I simply overslept from a late night.)
So I'm curious to know if I'm going to be able to ramble on about xkcd comics and "The Office" or if I'll have to incorporate more of the 'chit chat' style of talking: What's the difference between a 'classic' and an 'open' golf tournament. How about them mountaineers? Talk about this beautiful/crazy/depressing/enjoyable weather we're having so much of today? What's the deal with this memo from HR?
If you can't tell, I still carry a protective 'shell' around me at work. Maybe because between my last workplace experience and a relationship without trust have left me partially open to the idea that I'm just a difficult person to be around.
The progression goes 'quirky' to 'difficult' to 'douchebag' (one again, a tip of the hat and a wag of the finger to Ms. Sly -- you're quite the cheeky one.) to 'total asshole'. And while I've never vowed to be so hateful and petty as the 'top performers' at my last work place -- who, as the universe as my witness -- must've been sexually aroused by the thought of humiliating people they worked with -- I'd like to think that I leave the more abrasive parts of my personality at home. I have a job to do.
And so do the people around me.
So while there are articles appearing left and right (usually because some PR firm paid for them that you're to scrub and sanitize your myspace and facebook profile as employers are looking in with that 'we don't get it' and 'we are a morality police, and if you so much as drink a beer in your free time and/or enjoy life, we will hire someone else' I say embrace the hedonism. Let go a little. People who work hard play hard. And an entry level salary is a poor excuse for why you're conforming, anyway.
Whatever you do, be proud of it. Let go and embrace it. Just don't start up a blog about how much you love your 4 cylinder sports sedan, your cats, and other things that people don't really care about. It bores all of us to tears.
Labels: life is short, personal, ramblings, thoughts
Thursday, May 03, 2007
I'm back
I'm back. I've just been pretty boring lately. Been working on my car, getting ready for a move, and staying up late. Its the usual.
I was planning on going to see Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance tonight, and my gf even took off work the next day so she'd be able to recover from being out late, but one band's lead signer got sick and the other group got food poisoning. All of this happened in Penn State, which is something like 45 minutes driving distance from where I was born, and if you follow this to its logical conclusion, it obviously not a hospitable climate to rock bands. Or anyone.
Besides, any sports fan can tell you that a "Nittany Lion" is a fucking PANTHER. Only they couldn't have a PANTHER as their mascot because a better school that had been founded 100 years before they were had already snagged it. They had to settle for "Nittany Lion" as a way of announcing to the world "we were pre-Ownzored, we get it."
As Indie Rock Pete would say, "I'm a rocker. I rock out."
I was planning on going to see Fallout Boy and My Chemical Romance tonight, and my gf even took off work the next day so she'd be able to recover from being out late, but one band's lead signer got sick and the other group got food poisoning. All of this happened in Penn State, which is something like 45 minutes driving distance from where I was born, and if you follow this to its logical conclusion, it obviously not a hospitable climate to rock bands. Or anyone.
Besides, any sports fan can tell you that a "Nittany Lion" is a fucking PANTHER. Only they couldn't have a PANTHER as their mascot because a better school that had been founded 100 years before they were had already snagged it. They had to settle for "Nittany Lion" as a way of announcing to the world "we were pre-Ownzored, we get it."
As Indie Rock Pete would say, "I'm a rocker. I rock out."
Labels: ramblings
