Monday, November 10, 2008
Better late than never
Fallout 3 has forced me to finally break down and bite the bullet.
So today, with my big fat and as-of-yet-unspent paycheck, I broke down and bought a Xbox 360 Pro system (I don't need the Elite), Fallout 3, and a DVI adapter. It came in at a little over $400 from Amazon with overnight shipping. Not too shabby.
So today, with my big fat and as-of-yet-unspent paycheck, I broke down and bought a Xbox 360 Pro system (I don't need the Elite), Fallout 3, and a DVI adapter. It came in at a little over $400 from Amazon with overnight shipping. Not too shabby.
Labels: money, personal, video games
Monday, October 27, 2008
Another Birthday Came and Went
Another Year, another birthday. Another weekend of blurry memories.
I'd like to honestly state that my reckless, feckless, and boundless partying was getting less over the top and less self-indulgent as I grew older and my ability to recuperate by Monday gets weaker. However, that's not the case. It is some measure of improvement that this was the first time I got black out drunk in six years. I had not been that close to lit up. I'd like to add that I'm dealing with circumstances where I am not driving, have no stairs to navigate, am surrounded by friends, most of our valuables are locked up, and one of the roommates is sober if there were an emergency.
All that aside, I'd like to introduce a new house party benchmark: The Wilson Index. Its the number of unintended overnight guests, plus the number of people who have memory blackouts, plus the number of people who ended up getting some form of ass that night, divided by the number of roommates present at the party. In this case, the Wilson Index was something like 3.33333. Good times.
Party aside, this feels like one of the busiest months of my life. A friend of mine is working at a venture capital corporation after leaving a failed start up. He's following the startup's CEO and CTO. He's pitching ideas and having me sneak a peak as he searches for funding. Reviewing his applications, providing decent feedback in both a business sense, and a technical sense, as well as working and classes has been exhausting.
I actually have a decent costume for halloween this year. I'm going as Sweeny Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I'll post pictures of the costume later. I wore it to WVU's Halloween Swing Dance. It can get very hot swing dancing in two layers of clothing. Leaves me out of breathe.
So here were my birthday goals.
But assuming all goes well, I've got the perfect knock-knock joke to break the ice.
I'd like to honestly state that my reckless, feckless, and boundless partying was getting less over the top and less self-indulgent as I grew older and my ability to recuperate by Monday gets weaker. However, that's not the case. It is some measure of improvement that this was the first time I got black out drunk in six years. I had not been that close to lit up. I'd like to add that I'm dealing with circumstances where I am not driving, have no stairs to navigate, am surrounded by friends, most of our valuables are locked up, and one of the roommates is sober if there were an emergency.
All that aside, I'd like to introduce a new house party benchmark: The Wilson Index. Its the number of unintended overnight guests, plus the number of people who have memory blackouts, plus the number of people who ended up getting some form of ass that night, divided by the number of roommates present at the party. In this case, the Wilson Index was something like 3.33333. Good times.
Party aside, this feels like one of the busiest months of my life. A friend of mine is working at a venture capital corporation after leaving a failed start up. He's following the startup's CEO and CTO. He's pitching ideas and having me sneak a peak as he searches for funding. Reviewing his applications, providing decent feedback in both a business sense, and a technical sense, as well as working and classes has been exhausting.
I actually have a decent costume for halloween this year. I'm going as Sweeny Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I'll post pictures of the costume later. I wore it to WVU's Halloween Swing Dance. It can get very hot swing dancing in two layers of clothing. Leaves me out of breathe.
So here were my birthday goals.
- Get "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" Season 3 on DVD.
- Pay off half my credit card debt.
- Ask someone to dinner.
But assuming all goes well, I've got the perfect knock-knock joke to break the ice.
Me: Knock, Knock.Anyway, I have one exam left -- really my own exam, since I quit Data Mining due to Professor Blowhard's arrogant attitude towards the value of my time vs. the fruits of my labor for him, but I don't feel prepared for it. I would like to do well on it, so as to have some breathing room for the last stretch of the class.
Them: Who's there?
Me: Socially Awkward Guy.
Them: Socially Akward Guy who?
Me: (Awkwardly Panics).
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
No Words Need Be Spoken
No words need be spoken.I shall not hate you, Rather
I respect and admire your efforts
It confirms the innate goodness
I saw in you.
Just don't ask if
I'm going to forget you.
I can't answer that
straight faced.
But I'm not the same.
I'm not the same person who stayed with you till dawn.
And you are not the same person who stayed with me.
This note has been left
intentionally unfinished.
Labels: personal
Black Wenesday; Birthdays; In Sickness and In Health; Ice Cream Socials
No, I don't have schizophrenia, at least, not yet. I just felt that in this to-be-epic update, I should jumble down a lot of topics to serve as topics to which I will textually orate on.
First and foremost, while writing this post, I just received a call, The empty bedroom in our 4 bedroom apartment is getting filled by a girl named Sierra. She should be moving in today or tomorrow. This will no doubt be interesting. We always felt that they wouldn't put a loner in with 3 people who've known each other for 2-3 years now. Let's just hope it doesn't disrupt the dynamic the three of us have going.
Speaking of home front news, my roommate Ken got a kitten. Its something like 2-3 months. Its tiny as all get up. And skittish to boot. I'll probably post some pictures of the little guy later.
Another birthday approaches. In 9 days I'm going to officially be one year older. Pushing 30 much? This "late twenties" phase feels like a "twilight" of the early to mid 20s. Not much has changed. People haven't changed. The world isn't getting any brighter or kinder. More and more people just seem to want to retreat to the comfort of their bubble.
I guess I just feel adrift. I'm wondering what I'm supposed to learn about myself next in order to become the person I'm supposed to be.
Worse than being set adrift, is the abysmal plummet that is the stock market. Its a sad tale about how we got into this mess, and its going to be an even sadder one before we get out. I think we need to adopt the kind of regulation that Scott Adams' has purposed in the past: If you can't explain how you're making money to a six year and make him understand, what you're doing is probably illegal. That pretty much covers the financial sector. I'm tempted to track down my ex-girlfriend from my sophomore year of college and see how she's doing now that Wall St. is in complete meltdown.
Considering international banks around the world cut interests rates today in order to stave off an international bank panic that could've led to a global financial collapse, today might be the day where you order the fiddle you're going to play while the rest of the world burns.
God Bless the dip-shit short sightedness, reckless optimism, and compulsive greed of Reaganomics, right? *Cues the team america theme song.*
These past few weeks of September, having dropped a course that taught me that slave-labor for professors isn't at all enjoyable, I've actually had enough time to work out. I've started swimming 1 kilometer 3 days a week, lifting weights, and playing raquetball. I easily lost 5 lbs.
Then I got sick. My head is stuffed up like nobody's business. A sore throat like you wouldn't believe. So I've been sitting on my ass, watching HBO, drinking Gatorade and eating chicken soup, and probably gaining 5 lbs. It sucks. I was really getting back into the swing of things.
The fact that I totally pigged out on an ice cream social at work today didn't help either.
Ah well. Enough for now. More later.
First and foremost, while writing this post, I just received a call, The empty bedroom in our 4 bedroom apartment is getting filled by a girl named Sierra. She should be moving in today or tomorrow. This will no doubt be interesting. We always felt that they wouldn't put a loner in with 3 people who've known each other for 2-3 years now. Let's just hope it doesn't disrupt the dynamic the three of us have going.
Speaking of home front news, my roommate Ken got a kitten. Its something like 2-3 months. Its tiny as all get up. And skittish to boot. I'll probably post some pictures of the little guy later.
Another birthday approaches. In 9 days I'm going to officially be one year older. Pushing 30 much? This "late twenties" phase feels like a "twilight" of the early to mid 20s. Not much has changed. People haven't changed. The world isn't getting any brighter or kinder. More and more people just seem to want to retreat to the comfort of their bubble.
I guess I just feel adrift. I'm wondering what I'm supposed to learn about myself next in order to become the person I'm supposed to be.
Worse than being set adrift, is the abysmal plummet that is the stock market. Its a sad tale about how we got into this mess, and its going to be an even sadder one before we get out. I think we need to adopt the kind of regulation that Scott Adams' has purposed in the past: If you can't explain how you're making money to a six year and make him understand, what you're doing is probably illegal. That pretty much covers the financial sector. I'm tempted to track down my ex-girlfriend from my sophomore year of college and see how she's doing now that Wall St. is in complete meltdown.
Considering international banks around the world cut interests rates today in order to stave off an international bank panic that could've led to a global financial collapse, today might be the day where you order the fiddle you're going to play while the rest of the world burns.
God Bless the dip-shit short sightedness, reckless optimism, and compulsive greed of Reaganomics, right? *Cues the team america theme song.*
These past few weeks of September, having dropped a course that taught me that slave-labor for professors isn't at all enjoyable, I've actually had enough time to work out. I've started swimming 1 kilometer 3 days a week, lifting weights, and playing raquetball. I easily lost 5 lbs.
Then I got sick. My head is stuffed up like nobody's business. A sore throat like you wouldn't believe. So I've been sitting on my ass, watching HBO, drinking Gatorade and eating chicken soup, and probably gaining 5 lbs. It sucks. I was really getting back into the swing of things.
The fact that I totally pigged out on an ice cream social at work today didn't help either.
Ah well. Enough for now. More later.
Monday, September 22, 2008
This just in
It turns out that alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and lack of sleep and exercise all reduce a man's fertility.
With that in mind, at least my lifestyle serves as its own birth control.
I've needed to post more but I've never really had the time. I've had my first run in with a "mad professor". Every grad student encounters one of these guys. They are the guys who consider you to be slave labor. You're in grad school, so your time is "free", and therefore, worthless. So he can do whatever he wants with it.
So, instead of teaching Data Mining, like it says in the course description, he's going to convert you all in to LISP hackers. Because apparently, machine learning can't happen unless you've written the code in LISP. And rather than lecture you on data mining, he will lecture you on LISP. And reference paper's you're required to read on your own time. When you're not too busy coding in LISP. Or writing the textbook I've asked you to write for me. Or learning LaTex so you can write the textbook for me in the markup language of my choosing.
Okay, long story short, I had a prof who expected something like 20+ hrs/week of group work for a 3 credit class. Seeing as myself and one other member of my group were 40-hour week professionals, who value on our time, it wasn't happening. So I'm withdrawing from the class. And setting me back another 3 months in terms of graduating.
So that makes my graduation date something like 2011 or 2012. Except I honestly don't know if I could stand to be in WV that long. So I might switch over from the Computer Science Masters to the Software Engineering Masters. Its designed for professionals, so most of the classes are at night and there's a distance learning option. That means I could finish my master's remotely. Like in another state.
And this brings me to another recent development. A friend of mine is seeking seed money from a venture capital firm. He wants to do a 3-person web start up. I like the idea -- its sound, in my mind, from a technical and business stand point, and I've always wanted to try my hand at a start up. Working for myself has some appeal. Equity is what you make of it, and all. And its gotta beat working for a client that "fears" javascript. So if he gets it, I'm going to become a founder with him. We'd only have enough funding to last six months -- until/unless we secure additional funding. But I'm old enough where I want to take a shot and make a name for myself. I'll provide an update on whether or not this happens around October, because that's when the VC firm's deadlines are, apparently.
I've got more to post, but I'll do it in another update.
With that in mind, at least my lifestyle serves as its own birth control.
I've needed to post more but I've never really had the time. I've had my first run in with a "mad professor". Every grad student encounters one of these guys. They are the guys who consider you to be slave labor. You're in grad school, so your time is "free", and therefore, worthless. So he can do whatever he wants with it.
So, instead of teaching Data Mining, like it says in the course description, he's going to convert you all in to LISP hackers. Because apparently, machine learning can't happen unless you've written the code in LISP. And rather than lecture you on data mining, he will lecture you on LISP. And reference paper's you're required to read on your own time. When you're not too busy coding in LISP. Or writing the textbook I've asked you to write for me. Or learning LaTex so you can write the textbook for me in the markup language of my choosing.
Okay, long story short, I had a prof who expected something like 20+ hrs/week of group work for a 3 credit class. Seeing as myself and one other member of my group were 40-hour week professionals, who value on our time, it wasn't happening. So I'm withdrawing from the class. And setting me back another 3 months in terms of graduating.
So that makes my graduation date something like 2011 or 2012. Except I honestly don't know if I could stand to be in WV that long. So I might switch over from the Computer Science Masters to the Software Engineering Masters. Its designed for professionals, so most of the classes are at night and there's a distance learning option. That means I could finish my master's remotely. Like in another state.
And this brings me to another recent development. A friend of mine is seeking seed money from a venture capital firm. He wants to do a 3-person web start up. I like the idea -- its sound, in my mind, from a technical and business stand point, and I've always wanted to try my hand at a start up. Working for myself has some appeal. Equity is what you make of it, and all. And its gotta beat working for a client that "fears" javascript. So if he gets it, I'm going to become a founder with him. We'd only have enough funding to last six months -- until/unless we secure additional funding. But I'm old enough where I want to take a shot and make a name for myself. I'll provide an update on whether or not this happens around October, because that's when the VC firm's deadlines are, apparently.
I've got more to post, but I'll do it in another update.
Labels: personal
Monday, August 11, 2008
Nothing Angers Me More
Nothing angers me more than the bumper sticker seen below parked in a "High Technology Park". Seriously, evolution is one of the finest and foremost theories produced by the scientific method. The scientific method is something you should be intimately familiar with if you're pretending to be a scientist or an engineer -- or even a computer programmer. I'm not saying you're allowed to have religious beliefs. But when your religious beliefs are directly contradicted by science -- its not science that's lying. A willfully ignorant computer engineer, computer scientist, or Program Manager for either has no place in the industry. That's how I feel about it, and I'm sticking to it.
Seriously, its a bad sign when you're living in denial like that and people depend on you. Even Jesus would bitch slap the ignorance out of you. People with such antiquated Luddite beliefs belong to the greeters at Wal-Mart, not the "high technology" industry here in West Virginia.
Seriously, its a bad sign when you're living in denial like that and people depend on you. Even Jesus would bitch slap the ignorance out of you. People with such antiquated Luddite beliefs belong to the greeters at Wal-Mart, not the "high technology" industry here in West Virginia.
Labels: crazy people, Fairmont, free expression is vital to the growth of every human being, government failures, personal, pictures, thoughts
Contra 4 is too badass for me to handle
I got Contra 4 for the Nintendo DS. I've finally picked up my DS and started playing it again. Its a strange contrast: The Wii was more expensive, has more potential for multiplayer, and receives much more hype for its new approach, but so far, games aside from Nintendo's have pretty much sucked. With the sole exception being Boom Blox. That game is addictive and awesome. But even Nintendo's offerings have been the pinnacle of lack luster. Smash Brothers only lets one person play online? Really? The XBox could handle 4 player Halo 2 online, and the Wii has something like 1.5x the power. Intentionally releasing crippleware like that makes me a sad panda.
Contra 4 for the DS, on the other hand, reminds you that you are soft. Contra 4 makes you ponder what you could've been, if only you had accepted that invitation to join Operation Project Mayhem. If, for instance, your family's feud with the Mocato Ninja Clan lead to you being the sole survivor of your family, and you dedicated every day since that massacre to mastering the arts of ninjitsu, dedicated to becoming the ultimate engine of grisly revenge.
That is the kind of gamer skill you need to be to survive Contra 4 DS. On easy. The first time you play it, your ass is cookie dough. By the time you're done with it, you're carved out of wood.
So yeah, Contra 4 is insanely hard, but its also fun. Intensity matters. Contra 4 does not coddle you or pander to you. Contra 4 is a fulcrum. It decides whether you're pure enough in mettle and spirit, or merely an impurity to be chewed up, and spit back out.
Contra 4 for the DS, on the other hand, reminds you that you are soft. Contra 4 makes you ponder what you could've been, if only you had accepted that invitation to join Operation Project Mayhem. If, for instance, your family's feud with the Mocato Ninja Clan lead to you being the sole survivor of your family, and you dedicated every day since that massacre to mastering the arts of ninjitsu, dedicated to becoming the ultimate engine of grisly revenge.
That is the kind of gamer skill you need to be to survive Contra 4 DS. On easy. The first time you play it, your ass is cookie dough. By the time you're done with it, you're carved out of wood.
So yeah, Contra 4 is insanely hard, but its also fun. Intensity matters. Contra 4 does not coddle you or pander to you. Contra 4 is a fulcrum. It decides whether you're pure enough in mettle and spirit, or merely an impurity to be chewed up, and spit back out.
Labels: Gaming, Nintendo Wii, personal, ramblings, video games, weekend
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Chest Pain
Yesterday I woke up with some "insanely painful" chest pain. I think it was a delayed effect of all the hedonism from this weekend. I barely made it to my car pool.
Today, however, I'm happy to report, involves waking up without any tightness or pain in my chest.
Oh, another thing about the party I threw this weekend: Someone stole my deodorant. Really. It was the one thing missing from my room. You think someone would take my playstation 2. Or my digital camera that was being passed around. Or one of my iPods. But no, someone stole a used stick of deodorant. Puzzle over that during the rest of the day. I know I have.
Today, however, I'm happy to report, involves waking up without any tightness or pain in my chest.
Oh, another thing about the party I threw this weekend: Someone stole my deodorant. Really. It was the one thing missing from my room. You think someone would take my playstation 2. Or my digital camera that was being passed around. Or one of my iPods. But no, someone stole a used stick of deodorant. Puzzle over that during the rest of the day. I know I have.
Labels: blogging, crazy people, friends, personal, ramblings, thoughts
Monday, July 28, 2008
Costume Party
Its been a long time since I've "kicked the tires" as hard I did this past weekend. Me and my roommates threw a costume party ("Halfway to Halloween -- Belated Dance Party Hyper Alpha Edition"). Here's some of the "work safe/safe to be public" photos from a party that got way out of hand. I had to stay up till 7am to recover.
This is a pic of the three party guests who are also members of the WVU Swing Dance Club.
Nicole as an 80s rocker chick.
Bi-sexual spiderman giving someone the middle finger for ragging on him for chasing some of the party jailbait.
Me in costume as a cowboy. I spent $12 at Wal-Mart on the costume.
Why so serious?
A picture of my pet turtle, Logo. Notice he's essentially a giant now?
The sexy nurse.
All in all, a great weekend was had. More later. This should get you through your morning routine, tho.
Labels: crazy people, morgantown, personal, pictures, weekend
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Sound in a Dark Room
Alternate Title, for those of you not a fan of Telefone Tel Aviv, could be "unfamiliar ceiling". (Eva reference).
I'm feeling a bit morose, because its the real first night in the new apartment, which means I've moved one step further away from someone who always seems to give a damn about me no matter what I do.
Part of me wonders if in hindsight I'll realize I've made the biggest mistake of my life (so far) in this past year, and I've been too up in my head to do anything about it. But I'm too stubborn to risk damaging someone by making them put up with my shit again, even if they think I've turned a corner.
Doubt clouds my faith in humanity. I'm not trying to be emo. Life has just taught me to expect that people are too busy in their own little bubble to really care about another person. Expect to be disappointed and you're really not let down. It leads to a pretty accurate prediction of any situation's outcome.
But when you're wrong, you usually owe someone an apology.
It will be days before I sleep soundly, but the wonderful thing about being all up in your head is that its easy to forget all the minor emotional stresses.
I'm feeling a bit morose, because its the real first night in the new apartment, which means I've moved one step further away from someone who always seems to give a damn about me no matter what I do.
Part of me wonders if in hindsight I'll realize I've made the biggest mistake of my life (so far) in this past year, and I've been too up in my head to do anything about it. But I'm too stubborn to risk damaging someone by making them put up with my shit again, even if they think I've turned a corner.
Doubt clouds my faith in humanity. I'm not trying to be emo. Life has just taught me to expect that people are too busy in their own little bubble to really care about another person. Expect to be disappointed and you're really not let down. It leads to a pretty accurate prediction of any situation's outcome.
But when you're wrong, you usually owe someone an apology.
It will be days before I sleep soundly, but the wonderful thing about being all up in your head is that its easy to forget all the minor emotional stresses.
Labels: late night thoughts, personal
Monday, May 12, 2008
Like a Cruel Angel, Young Boy Become A Legend
I've recently purchased the platinum series of Evangelion, all episodes included and what not. I haven't really watched the series in about 10 years. It was one of those really awesome shows from my childhood -- i had bootlegs from the laserdiscs that were fan subtitled. Loved it.
Its kinda fun to relive a good part of the childhood.
On a side note, from the "what the fuck, i can't believe that, it pisses me off" department, someone (i think) stole a hub cap off my car. Again. it pissed me off on my drive home. But thankfully, both cats realized i needed some immediate de-stress, and came over and purred their heart out.
It helps in letting go of the little wrongs. That's an important life lesson, and I'm happy for that.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Positive Thoughts
I'm going to enumerate a few good things in my life right now, because my last few posts seemed mostly full of piss and vinegar.
- I'm glad that even though I don't work out enough at it is, I can eat wings and not feel guilty.
- I'm glad school for me will be over in little more than week.
- I'm glad I never have to worry about finding a swing dance partner.
- I'm glad I'm on two projects to work.
- I'm glad I've seen self-absorption and vanity up close. I had a former friend in my life who dropped out of college at 20 and has been trying the whole "get rich quick through a start up" thing since before the dot bomb. So far, he has failed, and has little to show for it. When I "make my move" in that respect, I won't be such a money-worshipping know it all yuppie.
- I'm glad both the cats I rescued still visit me when I crash at night. They love sleeping near me.
- I'm glad I've decided to resolve my sleep problems without medication. After researching Ambien, I'm terrified of it. Its a narcotic. When you stop taking it, you can have "rebound insomnia". You can always wake up, drive to a buddy house, drink and talk to them for an hour, have sex with a girl, and drive home, with no memory of the fact you just slept- walked an entire night away. Wow.
- I'm glad to be learning new things with respect to my technology skillset. After having a grad school professor basically lecture on distributed systems and completely ignore how google changed the game and 90% of this is irrelevant, because "the google way" is what's going to be copied from now on, its awesome to learn something new.
- I'm glad to have my health after witness a friend suffer so for a completely random or incomprehensible reason
- I'm glad to more than one honest person in my life. I think my friend who's life went wrong stems from a simple reason: the need to look good over the need to realize failure. And likeminded people in his life, who he felt were also "succeeding". I still have people I've known since I was 18 that can at least cut me to ribbons should I start putting on false airs.
- I'm glad I'm not afraid to take risks in my personal or professional life, despite some of the downturns that have happened in both. No Regrets.
- I'm glad tomorrow is a new day.
Labels: confidence, free expression is vital to the growth of every human being, late night thoughts, life is short, personal
Monday, April 28, 2008
back again
Back again, but I don't really have any time...does anyone still read my goddamn blog? Comment love would be appreciated.
My roommate (and *cough* ex-girlfriend) was in the hospital. She had breathing problems. Her O2Sat was around 80 when they started monitoring her. They technically can't let you leave a hospital unless its above 90. At 80, doing simple things like "walking" or "trying to use the bathroom without help" can leave you winded and possibly pass out.
Nobody really knows what's wrong with her: It could be TB, it could be walking pneumonia, it could be asthma.
So she spent nearly 2 days in a hospital, and I was there to help her with medical issues and offer moral support.
And this is crunch time for me. So I'm busy catching up at work and busy catching up in school.
Leave me some love.
Labels: late night thoughts, personal, thoughts
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Here goes nothing
Well, one person has demanded and update, and an update she shall get!
I've been exhausted because the pace of life lately has been running at a pace where its always a few steps ahead of me. This is probably because grad school makes me feel like i'm in over my head -- it could also be just that I'm at the age where when given a shit-ton of (at least to me) pointless busy work that does not serve to teach my anything, i focus on things that actually seem worth my time. I'm dragging myself across the finish line. I think next semester I'm going to try to take courses that interest me more, even if the workload turns out to be more.
Another thing that kills me is most of my friends are on cruise control because they're graduating in a month or so. So I go out way more than I should. Then again, I say yes to everything.
I went swing dancing in Pittsburgh this past weekend. I find it especially hilarious that I'm even more spastic when I swing dance. There is the occasional moment where I'm graceful, but when I'm with someone I know pretty well, and I find we both end up giggling like idiots and trying not to crash into anyone else on the dance floor. I'm glad the new club president seems more open to organizing "away" events more than once a semester. Considering that Pittsburgh is one hour, twenty minutes away (less the way I drive) its not really that hard.
A friend of mine that I've known since my college days might be doing a start up company in Pittsburgh with an idea I basically came up with all by myself. I'm not upset or jealous -- I'm actually quite excited for him. I've kind of abandoned the idea because I wouldn't want to do an "advertiser funded" business plan for a web based start up. Its a "young man's business model" -- where you build something cool (both from a technical and non-technical definition of cool) and attract eyeballs. Once you have the eyeballs, you can make money via google adwords. I'd prefer something with more of a plan B, but I'm psyched he's gonna take the risk, or might take the risk. He's meeting with venture capitalists trying to fund Pittsburgh based web-start ups in the next week. I'm pulling for him. Also, if he's reading this and does strike it rich, remember it was my idea and I make a great entourage member. I can drive you around places and carry spare laptop batteries.
One reason I haven't been posting as much is that Reddit.com has taken over my web browsing. And I've gotten into too many arguements with idiotic trolls. Its sad that no corner of the internet social media trend is free from 9/11 conspiracy whackos, ridiculously scornful libertarians who believe the free market can fix everything, global warming deniers, and pro-creationism douchebags. Allow me to state the following without being bitter: If a defense computer ever does become self-aware, and nukes most of humanity, like Skynet, I will be okay with it, as long as all of the above are completely wiped out. No matter what I comment on, I attract these idiots. And I've apparently lost my mutant ability to make idiots who keep bothering me drink anti-freeze.
My friend Vanessa started talking to me again. I thought out friendship had died out on the wayside. Its good to see one come back from the brink.
Labels: blogging, personal, ramblings, thoughts
Monday, March 31, 2008
3 Pet Peeves
1. Lost Ticket at a Morgantown Parking Garage. That's a $25 mistake. I've let it go, but at the same time, I'm more upset that its $25 for a lost fucking ticket in a Morgantown Parking Garage. Even in Pittsburgh, the city with THE HIGHEST PARKING TAXES IN THE FUCKING NATION a lost ticket at the soldiers and sailors garage was something like $15 or $20, assuming one of the poor college students wouldn't just feel bad for you and open the gate and let you out scott free. Shitty way to end a night where I overspent anyway.
2. I recently received the compliment that it looks like I've lost weight. I have, thank you for noticing. Just don't grab my arm, squeeze it, and say, 'You're starting to get emo'. I don't need anyone pointing out that I've lost a lot of the muscle mass I gained last year. A relationship gone bad, grad school, a side project, and working full time with an hour lost to commuting will eat into your physique.
3. People who take advantage of their former best friends deepest fear -- their fear of being strangled. And then brag about it to people.
Books I'm reading:
Children Of Dune and Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert
Player Piano by Kurt Vonnegut
American Gods by Neil Gaiman.
2. I recently received the compliment that it looks like I've lost weight. I have, thank you for noticing. Just don't grab my arm, squeeze it, and say, 'You're starting to get emo'. I don't need anyone pointing out that I've lost a lot of the muscle mass I gained last year. A relationship gone bad, grad school, a side project, and working full time with an hour lost to commuting will eat into your physique.
3. People who take advantage of their former best friends deepest fear -- their fear of being strangled. And then brag about it to people.
Books I'm reading:
Children Of Dune and Dune Messiah by Frank Herbert
Player Piano by Kurt Vonnegut
American Gods by Neil Gaiman.
Labels: late night thoughts, personal, ramblings
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Ramblings in the key of Log Base 2
Wow. Been a while.
Is anyone still reading this?
Soo.... updates:
I canceled my spring break trip to NYC to visit JSC and EK because I had a terrible head cold that left with a cough that vaguely resembled a death rattle. Didn't feel like trying to make the 7 hour drive on cough medication. Didn't feel like giving an already ill friend a dose of somebody else's germs. Also, I've been busy on a 'side project' with my friend from college Antique. Its kept me busy, but there are times where I'm just so burnt out from being in front of a computer that I need to do something else, so progress up to this point has been slow.
My laptop is back in action. I've restored what pictures and music I managed to save from my Hard Drive crash. It feels like a part of me is made whole again. One less little nagging voice in the back of the "to do" list part of my mind. Still a few kinks to work out with leopard, but I am loving spaces. Its not as good as multiple monitors, but I definitely like it for separating work/play desktops.
Grad School continues to drag on, with this semester about as intriguing as a sack of potatoes. I'm hoping I step it up and get at least a 3.5 again this semester, but I'll have to really suck it up to get through this semester. My side projects are more interesting.
People are graduating this year. Just like last year. Its this odd thing being a grad student with younger friends. The people you care about graduate and move on. Just like you did. And right now it sucks because it seems that outside of a few grad students who's lives are more stable, I'll be losing a large "crop" of friends each coming year. On the other hand, the crazies are bound to graduate and go away, so in this dark cloud, there is a silver lining.
I was recently in one of those minor emergencies. While driving to work with a co-worker, her car's brake lines failed and we lost braking power. Ever have to help out in driving a car that's going 75mph downhill that needs to stop? It made for an interesting morning. Everything turned out okay, but it was definitely a change to the morning routine. Thankfully, one of the hyper-mileing techniques is called "DWB" -- "Driving Without Brakes", so I wasn't exactly coming into the situation unprepared.
My company's casino night was pretty off the hook this year. It felt like it went a lot faster, but it could just be the completely free martini bar that I took advantage of. Either way, it rocked, and I took advantage of its proximity to Leesburg to check out the Leesburg outlet mall, where I managed to purchase some stuff on the cheap, the notable purchase being my new Diesel Messenger bag which I'll use for school when I'm not hauling around my MBP. I also had no idea that people in this country were stupid enough to pay $300 for a pair of jeans. Jesus.
There's your six pack of updates for now. More soon.
Is anyone still reading this?
Soo.... updates:
I canceled my spring break trip to NYC to visit JSC and EK because I had a terrible head cold that left with a cough that vaguely resembled a death rattle. Didn't feel like trying to make the 7 hour drive on cough medication. Didn't feel like giving an already ill friend a dose of somebody else's germs. Also, I've been busy on a 'side project' with my friend from college Antique. Its kept me busy, but there are times where I'm just so burnt out from being in front of a computer that I need to do something else, so progress up to this point has been slow.
My laptop is back in action. I've restored what pictures and music I managed to save from my Hard Drive crash. It feels like a part of me is made whole again. One less little nagging voice in the back of the "to do" list part of my mind. Still a few kinks to work out with leopard, but I am loving spaces. Its not as good as multiple monitors, but I definitely like it for separating work/play desktops.
Grad School continues to drag on, with this semester about as intriguing as a sack of potatoes. I'm hoping I step it up and get at least a 3.5 again this semester, but I'll have to really suck it up to get through this semester. My side projects are more interesting.
People are graduating this year. Just like last year. Its this odd thing being a grad student with younger friends. The people you care about graduate and move on. Just like you did. And right now it sucks because it seems that outside of a few grad students who's lives are more stable, I'll be losing a large "crop" of friends each coming year. On the other hand, the crazies are bound to graduate and go away, so in this dark cloud, there is a silver lining.
I was recently in one of those minor emergencies. While driving to work with a co-worker, her car's brake lines failed and we lost braking power. Ever have to help out in driving a car that's going 75mph downhill that needs to stop? It made for an interesting morning. Everything turned out okay, but it was definitely a change to the morning routine. Thankfully, one of the hyper-mileing techniques is called "DWB" -- "Driving Without Brakes", so I wasn't exactly coming into the situation unprepared.
My company's casino night was pretty off the hook this year. It felt like it went a lot faster, but it could just be the completely free martini bar that I took advantage of. Either way, it rocked, and I took advantage of its proximity to Leesburg to check out the Leesburg outlet mall, where I managed to purchase some stuff on the cheap, the notable purchase being my new Diesel Messenger bag which I'll use for school when I'm not hauling around my MBP. I also had no idea that people in this country were stupid enough to pay $300 for a pair of jeans. Jesus.
There's your six pack of updates for now. More soon.
Labels: blogging, crazy people, personal, Web Development
Monday, March 03, 2008
Crazy back when crazy meant something
Its sad when you realize a friend of yours is so crazy, so damaged, that they don't even realize. Its like they're in that alternate reality with invading Iraq was a good idea, WMDs were confirmed, and GWB says things truthfully.
Its shitty when you can see the damage, but they're just going about life thinking they're fabulous. Its also the moment where you can't be a buffer for them anymore, and have to cut ties.
Its shitty when you can see the damage, but they're just going about life thinking they're fabulous. Its also the moment where you can't be a buffer for them anymore, and have to cut ties.
Labels: crazy people, personal
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Made To Wait: Compensation
This is a great article on compensating young employees who're looking for "growth". A halfway decent developer, if he's not too busy blogging, will probably double his productivity for the first 3 years of employment at a company (assuming he stays). This is because if they're keeping up with what's going on in the industry and not just doing what they're told, they're creating value without you having to train them. And that skillset is highly portable.
And of course, the experience and know-how he has of the internal mechanics of your company is something you can't get from the pool of job applicants. Its something he takes with him.
So having shitty raises for the people in the "trenches" is a really dumb idea. I know that once you get a reputation of having "shitty raises", anyone that knows anyone at the company that's applying for a job is going to tack on a premium to their base salary. Its fact.
So to recap, read the article. And having a system where "busting your hump" gets you a 4% raise, and doing nothing gets you a 3% raise, and you have a system that's going to be gamed so that people do nothing. And then, what're you really paying for?
And of course, the experience and know-how he has of the internal mechanics of your company is something you can't get from the pool of job applicants. Its something he takes with him.
So having shitty raises for the people in the "trenches" is a really dumb idea. I know that once you get a reputation of having "shitty raises", anyone that knows anyone at the company that's applying for a job is going to tack on a premium to their base salary. Its fact.
So to recap, read the article. And having a system where "busting your hump" gets you a 4% raise, and doing nothing gets you a 3% raise, and you have a system that's going to be gamed so that people do nothing. And then, what're you really paying for?
Labels: corporate culture, money, personal, raises, ramblings, today's generation, Web Development
Friday, January 04, 2008
Code Rage (Soft)
I'm glad class isn't in session because I've been scaling bits and pieces of the learning curve that is JEE5.0+Spring 2.5+Hibernate3+Hibernate Annotations.
Its the first time I've really felt you needed to 'smart' to do my job. I'm not trying to talk out my ass -- I don't feel smart attempting to get things done in Eclipse (the IDE du jour for Java development) -- but this isn't something that one master's easily. It feels like I'm pushing around furniture when what I'm really trying to do is toss around a frisbee.
So I was naturally a little pre-occupied when the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl came around. Since I decided not to make an insane road trip out of it (saving what little vacation I have for a planned for snowboarding trip with Greg over spring break) I figured I should at least watch it with someone.
Three different people asked me to hang out with them and watch the game that night. Rather than take DFR's advice from over Christmas break -- say "Yes" to any social invite -- if just to get you out of the house and meet more people -- I sat around, read, and lightly thought upon my problem. It took until halftime for me to shake off my funk and go over to Vanessa's, because she nagged me the most, and it was a good time.
The reason I'm writing this is because I feel like I've defined by problem: Java has traded idiomatic-ness (if that's a word) for its ability to have a gazillion interoperable frameworks. And that's great if you're mr. blub, trying to build a blub tower for the people of blubville. You've got a one-size-fits-all catch all language.
But there's no room for metis. Even where there might be definite beauty or craft, I'm at a point where it still feels I'm a woodworker trying to appreciate the work of a stonecutter. That's nice and all, but did you have to pick such a cold and heavy medium?
Hopefully I'll get to a java-happy-place. In time. It just feels like my experience with Ruby, Cocoa, and Python has a me always hearing a voice telling me in that faux-austrialian infomerical accent "There's got to be a better way! Call now!"
Anyway, I wanted to post two links I found that fellow programmers like CoyoteTechnica will find interesting. The first is titled "Java is an Evolutionary Dead End" and it sort of touches upon what I'm getting at: Code is meant to be read more times than it is to be written, so a concise language that's easily readable will be better than the overly-syntaxic world of java.
And the second, also by Bruce Eckel, is called "The Mythical 5%" and its a commencement speech that he gave to a bunch of Computer Science kiddies. I like it because its actually good advice and somewhat inspiring. I tried giving similar advice ("This is a field that involves constantly learning and re-learning to keep up") but came off as condescending and cruel. So forget what I would say and read the artcle. Its a good read.
Its the first time I've really felt you needed to 'smart' to do my job. I'm not trying to talk out my ass -- I don't feel smart attempting to get things done in Eclipse (the IDE du jour for Java development) -- but this isn't something that one master's easily. It feels like I'm pushing around furniture when what I'm really trying to do is toss around a frisbee.
So I was naturally a little pre-occupied when the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl came around. Since I decided not to make an insane road trip out of it (saving what little vacation I have for a planned for snowboarding trip with Greg over spring break) I figured I should at least watch it with someone.
Three different people asked me to hang out with them and watch the game that night. Rather than take DFR's advice from over Christmas break -- say "Yes" to any social invite -- if just to get you out of the house and meet more people -- I sat around, read, and lightly thought upon my problem. It took until halftime for me to shake off my funk and go over to Vanessa's, because she nagged me the most, and it was a good time.
The reason I'm writing this is because I feel like I've defined by problem: Java has traded idiomatic-ness (if that's a word) for its ability to have a gazillion interoperable frameworks. And that's great if you're mr. blub, trying to build a blub tower for the people of blubville. You've got a one-size-fits-all catch all language.
But there's no room for metis. Even where there might be definite beauty or craft, I'm at a point where it still feels I'm a woodworker trying to appreciate the work of a stonecutter. That's nice and all, but did you have to pick such a cold and heavy medium?
Hopefully I'll get to a java-happy-place. In time. It just feels like my experience with Ruby, Cocoa, and Python has a me always hearing a voice telling me in that faux-austrialian infomerical accent "There's got to be a better way! Call now!"
Anyway, I wanted to post two links I found that fellow programmers like CoyoteTechnica will find interesting. The first is titled "Java is an Evolutionary Dead End" and it sort of touches upon what I'm getting at: Code is meant to be read more times than it is to be written, so a concise language that's easily readable will be better than the overly-syntaxic world of java.
And the second, also by Bruce Eckel, is called "The Mythical 5%" and its a commencement speech that he gave to a bunch of Computer Science kiddies. I like it because its actually good advice and somewhat inspiring. I tried giving similar advice ("This is a field that involves constantly learning and re-learning to keep up") but came off as condescending and cruel. So forget what I would say and read the artcle. Its a good read.
Labels: links, personal, software, thoughts
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Not a bad start
Grades are in on STAR.
Three point five. Not bad at all. Not a bad start to a graduate program in computer science.
Three point five. Not bad at all. Not a bad start to a graduate program in computer science.
Labels: blogging, confidence, personal
Friday, December 14, 2007
Finally a Respite
My semester is finished, and fate willing I finished with Straight A's. That'd be the first time in a long time I pulled that off. The plus side of having your co-worker and office mate serve as your faculty advisor is that you end up taking really good courses from really professors, and it just makes the process of getting a master's a little less painful.
The Mantech Christmas party came and went, and I celebrated with my usual flair. I found it interesting that someone else showed up this year sporting a velvet white tie. My new suit was a hit. The funny story I ended up telling throughout the night was how my date got sick at the last minute. And she was the third person I'd asked. After the open bar, we hit up The Vintage Room, and Ryan was pleased to see me, as always. Around 2:15 or 2:30, and a hefty helping of Pizza, bought again with company money, I felt the spins starting to hit, and since I was alone this year and didn't have anyone to lean on, I excused myself before I really began to feel the effects of how hammered I was.
But it turns out I really didn't need anyone to take care of me by the time I got back to the Hotel room. My friends Corey and Greg checked on me, and after hanging out for a while, I basically told them, "I'm going to shut down now" and fell asleep when my head hit the pillow.
I woke up at 8:30 still drunk. What a way to start the weekend before finals. Another year where I get away with binge drinking and I don't really say anything to embarrass myself to co-workers or anyone I think highly of.
Now that the semester's over, I've got travel plans. I'm going home this weekend for Ben's 24th. It will be good to see Speed Racer, Brian Dylan, and the Penguin. I'm sure there will be lots of the usual drunken back-and-fourth between myself and the Penguin.
New Years is either going to be spent in Miami, D.C., or ATL. Right now its a huge toss up as to what I can afford because I need to decide this weekend how much I'm spending on everyone's christmas presents.
Then, my friend Emily and I have tickets to see WVU play in the Fiesta Bowl. (Go team!) Win or lose, that will be a good time. I'm trying to talk to one or two more people into going with us, but i don't think either of them is going to commit to the journey, so it'll just be the two of us.
I'm also planning a snowboarding trip out to Colorado. Ze Greg has offered to join me out there (and let me crash at his place, of course) for the week of spring break. That means I've got to spend some weekends on the slopes here, but I'm looking forward to tracking down some people in the WVU outdoors club from last semester and seeing if they snowboard.
I've been squirreling money away since I'm planning on moving out of my current apartment soon. My friend Matthew's family decided they're not ready to rent out his house yet, so I'm actually looking for a new place and actually looking at potentially buying a place, knowing that if I rent it out to one of the Ph D students that I'll be running into at WVU's Computer Science program, I could potentially have someone who'd be renting from me after I move out, and potentially until I've built up enough equity to sell the place. Its something I'll be discussing and researching over the holidays.
The Mantech Christmas party came and went, and I celebrated with my usual flair. I found it interesting that someone else showed up this year sporting a velvet white tie. My new suit was a hit. The funny story I ended up telling throughout the night was how my date got sick at the last minute. And she was the third person I'd asked. After the open bar, we hit up The Vintage Room, and Ryan was pleased to see me, as always. Around 2:15 or 2:30, and a hefty helping of Pizza, bought again with company money, I felt the spins starting to hit, and since I was alone this year and didn't have anyone to lean on, I excused myself before I really began to feel the effects of how hammered I was.
But it turns out I really didn't need anyone to take care of me by the time I got back to the Hotel room. My friends Corey and Greg checked on me, and after hanging out for a while, I basically told them, "I'm going to shut down now" and fell asleep when my head hit the pillow.
I woke up at 8:30 still drunk. What a way to start the weekend before finals. Another year where I get away with binge drinking and I don't really say anything to embarrass myself to co-workers or anyone I think highly of.
Now that the semester's over, I've got travel plans. I'm going home this weekend for Ben's 24th. It will be good to see Speed Racer, Brian Dylan, and the Penguin. I'm sure there will be lots of the usual drunken back-and-fourth between myself and the Penguin.
New Years is either going to be spent in Miami, D.C., or ATL. Right now its a huge toss up as to what I can afford because I need to decide this weekend how much I'm spending on everyone's christmas presents.
Then, my friend Emily and I have tickets to see WVU play in the Fiesta Bowl. (Go team!) Win or lose, that will be a good time. I'm trying to talk to one or two more people into going with us, but i don't think either of them is going to commit to the journey, so it'll just be the two of us.
I'm also planning a snowboarding trip out to Colorado. Ze Greg has offered to join me out there (and let me crash at his place, of course) for the week of spring break. That means I've got to spend some weekends on the slopes here, but I'm looking forward to tracking down some people in the WVU outdoors club from last semester and seeing if they snowboard.
I've been squirreling money away since I'm planning on moving out of my current apartment soon. My friend Matthew's family decided they're not ready to rent out his house yet, so I'm actually looking for a new place and actually looking at potentially buying a place, knowing that if I rent it out to one of the Ph D students that I'll be running into at WVU's Computer Science program, I could potentially have someone who'd be renting from me after I move out, and potentially until I've built up enough equity to sell the place. Its something I'll be discussing and researching over the holidays.
Labels: late night thoughts, personal, road trips
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Hands
Underneath the star light, she pressed my hands up against her heart and spoke through the darkness.
"Your hands are the most beautiful part of you.
When you were younger, they climbed trees and picked blackberries.
They played piano for your parents, filling your house with music.
The hurled snowballs at girls you didn't like
and tickled the ones you did
When you were older, they cut and trimmed
countless roses at the flower shop
for brides and grooms you'd never meet
church gatherings you'd never grace
They strummed the chords of guitar songs
you never played for anyone
gripped the tools that tuned up your first car
a tired, trusty pontiac almost as old as you were
held the wheel steady as you road tripped to see 311
hotboxing the whole way
they took the photos of your sister's first kiss as a married woman
and held the first cigarette smoked with family
They pulled you out of a managed dodge caravan
when a drunk driver nearly took your life in philadelphia
and held your sisters hand tight as you wandered the streets blind
in search of anything familiar as home
They held onto lisa tight as you took her to get help
and waited for her all night until the menace faded
They nailed the shingles to only roof you knew as home
and pulled the weeds from your mother's garden
They grew cold on that 4 mile walk
after the longest, sorriest, heart wrenching goodbye you'd ever make.
Look me in the eyes, with your hands in mine, and tell me again that you've never accomplished anything. Tell me you're not excited to be alive."
Before I could turn to see her face,
Before I could answer her challenge,
I awoke.
"Your hands are the most beautiful part of you.
When you were younger, they climbed trees and picked blackberries.
They played piano for your parents, filling your house with music.
The hurled snowballs at girls you didn't like
and tickled the ones you did
When you were older, they cut and trimmed
countless roses at the flower shop
for brides and grooms you'd never meet
church gatherings you'd never grace
They strummed the chords of guitar songs
you never played for anyone
gripped the tools that tuned up your first car
a tired, trusty pontiac almost as old as you were
held the wheel steady as you road tripped to see 311
hotboxing the whole way
they took the photos of your sister's first kiss as a married woman
and held the first cigarette smoked with family
They pulled you out of a managed dodge caravan
when a drunk driver nearly took your life in philadelphia
and held your sisters hand tight as you wandered the streets blind
in search of anything familiar as home
They held onto lisa tight as you took her to get help
and waited for her all night until the menace faded
They nailed the shingles to only roof you knew as home
and pulled the weeds from your mother's garden
They grew cold on that 4 mile walk
after the longest, sorriest, heart wrenching goodbye you'd ever make.
Look me in the eyes, with your hands in mine, and tell me again that you've never accomplished anything. Tell me you're not excited to be alive."
Before I could turn to see her face,
Before I could answer her challenge,
I awoke.
Labels: free expression is vital to the growth of every human being, life is short, personal
Friday, November 30, 2007
Randoms
Yesterday I bought my first ringtone ever. At the $2.99 price, and the very limited utility of it, I'm doubting I'll do it again for a long time. But it was "novel".
I also recently went suit shopping for my company's annual Christmas party. I'm really pleased with the outcome, and am excited to get it back from the tailor. I am going to look pretty good, and its going to be a good time drinking with friends and co-workers. My friend Jen was essential in helping me keep my spirits up and remain confident that there would be a positive outcome. Also, her fashion sense definitely complimented mine and the salespersons.
I'm excited for my company's christmas party. Always a good time to drink top shelf stuff on somebody else's dime.
I'm actually considering printing up pre-apology cards for people's significant others because I know I'm going to over-celebrate this year.
Its not definite yet, but I might be in Miami for New Year's. I'm excited for it, but its all about making sure I can afford the trip.
I've had a recent first hand illumination on a bad habit (of my past, I hope) where you're arguing not to prove a point, but simply to prove to yourself that you're right. I realize I haven't conquered that, but I can at least recognize that kind of anger in others now. And because I try to believe in selling bridges instead of burning them, I've learned to ride out these people's tantrums.
And I tell myself that with a little patience I can get through this. We walk not long upon the earth. No need to tread the paths that lead only to bitterness. With Patience, I can outlast someone's pettiness and see past what they are in the moment.
Less than two weeks left in school and I'm looking at straight A's for grad school. Not bad for a first semester.
Beowulf 3D was not that bad of a movie. Next up: Hitman.
Back to school stuff.
I also recently went suit shopping for my company's annual Christmas party. I'm really pleased with the outcome, and am excited to get it back from the tailor. I am going to look pretty good, and its going to be a good time drinking with friends and co-workers. My friend Jen was essential in helping me keep my spirits up and remain confident that there would be a positive outcome. Also, her fashion sense definitely complimented mine and the salespersons.
I'm excited for my company's christmas party. Always a good time to drink top shelf stuff on somebody else's dime.
I'm actually considering printing up pre-apology cards for people's significant others because I know I'm going to over-celebrate this year.
Its not definite yet, but I might be in Miami for New Year's. I'm excited for it, but its all about making sure I can afford the trip.
I've had a recent first hand illumination on a bad habit (of my past, I hope) where you're arguing not to prove a point, but simply to prove to yourself that you're right. I realize I haven't conquered that, but I can at least recognize that kind of anger in others now. And because I try to believe in selling bridges instead of burning them, I've learned to ride out these people's tantrums.
And I tell myself that with a little patience I can get through this. We walk not long upon the earth. No need to tread the paths that lead only to bitterness. With Patience, I can outlast someone's pettiness and see past what they are in the moment.
Less than two weeks left in school and I'm looking at straight A's for grad school. Not bad for a first semester.
Beowulf 3D was not that bad of a movie. Next up: Hitman.
Back to school stuff.
Labels: blogging, personal, ramblings, thoughts
Friday, November 09, 2007
Confessional Debugging
In Steve McConnell's "Code Complete", he describes a debugging (aka problem solving) technique called "Confessional Debugging". It goes a little something like this:
Non-geeks would call this "sharing" or even "theraphy" when taken to extremes. Here's a snippet of confessional debugging that I recently had.
(4:02:29 PM) redrobot5050: being self-aware doesn't make one less crazy
(4:02:33 PM) redrobot5050: often times, it makes you more crazy
(4:02:43 PM) redrobot5050: and realizing a problem and reacting to it like a mature, intelligent adult
(4:02:48 PM) redrobot5050: are separate issues
(4:03:02 PM) redrobot5050: i can understand after all that happened if [redacted] views part of me with ugliness
(4:03:54 PM) redrobot5050: anyway, i've kept you
(4:04:00 PM) redrobot5050: i just felt like clarifying for your own sake
(4:04:15 PM) redrobot5050: [redacted] is not a bad apple
(4:04:21 PM) redrobot5050: but [redacted], apparently
(4:11:19 PM) redrobot5050: anyway
(4:11:24 PM) redrobot5050: have fun whether or not you go or don't
(4:11:25 PM) redrobot5050: and take care
Talk to someone else about the problem. Some people call this "confessional debugging." You often discover your own error in the act of explaining it to another person. For example, if you were explaining the problem in the salary example, you might sound like this:"Hey Jennifer. Have you got a minute; I'm having a problem. I've got this list of employee salaries that's supposed to be sorted but some names are out of order. They're sorted all right the second time I print them out but not the first. I checked to see if it was new names, but it didn't seem like it was because I tried some that worked. I know they should be sorted the first time I print them because the program sorts all the names as they're entered and again when they're saved ... wait a minute ... no, it doesn't sort them when they're entered. That's right. It only orders them roughly. Thanks Jennifer. You've been a big help."
Jennifer didn't say a word, and you solved your problem. This is typical, and is perhaps your most potent tool for solving the most difficult errors.
Non-geeks would call this "sharing" or even "theraphy" when taken to extremes. Here's a snippet of confessional debugging that I recently had.
(4:02:29 PM) redrobot5050: being self-aware doesn't make one less crazy
(4:02:33 PM) redrobot5050: often times, it makes you more crazy
(4:02:43 PM) redrobot5050: and realizing a problem and reacting to it like a mature, intelligent adult
(4:02:48 PM) redrobot5050: are separate issues
(4:03:02 PM) redrobot5050: i can understand after all that happened if [redacted] views part of me with ugliness
(4:03:54 PM) redrobot5050: anyway, i've kept you
(4:04:00 PM) redrobot5050: i just felt like clarifying for your own sake
(4:04:15 PM) redrobot5050: [redacted] is not a bad apple
(4:04:21 PM) redrobot5050: but [redacted], apparently
(4:11:19 PM) redrobot5050: anyway
(4:11:24 PM) redrobot5050: have fun whether or not you go or don't
(4:11:25 PM) redrobot5050: and take care
Labels: blogging, free expression is vital to the growth of every human being, personal, ramblings
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
To my former beer pong partner and current facebook "stalker"
I'm happy for you. I'm really glad you found that someone that can make 5 years go by so fast (and by a house with) and still be happy about what's to come. Don't think that traveling for ultimate is a bad thing. It beats NOT traveling for ultimate, but if you're going to travel just to travel, check out Rickett's Glen in PA. I grew up near there. Right about this time of year, the waterfalls freeze. Its beautiful. But be careful. Its one of those places near water where I almost died/froze to death because the paths also get very icy.
I'm also sorry that the girl I was seeing, Stephanie from Chatham, left me an emotional wreck the night you stayed over. I hadn't figured out that some girls just like to make the rounds back then, and they aren't worth fussing over. Even if they leave you for a frat brother.
Maybe then we would've made out, instead of just playing Streets of Rage 2 on my Dreamcast. Although, to be honest, streets of rage was pretty boss hog. And if we played Golden Axe, then is just like we did make out, only better.
Also, I'm sorry you met my mom. I know that wasn't what you bargained for, and I'm sure that was slightly awkward. I'm sure she thought you were nice. You did a great job of helping me pack up my stuff. And you were an amazing little spoon, but I'm sure you've heard that before.
Kudos on the great co-workers. I'm starting to realize how much that really matters. Its a tribal thing. Its like Odyssey of the Mind in cubicles. You may not known everyone enough to know if you like them, but you better know what they're thinking for the group points.
Anyway, I'm glad you've been following the bits and pieces of my life that I've put online. The point of soapbox was to keep track of the people that I want to keep in touch with for life.
It was good hearing from you. I'll write you soon.
I'm also sorry that the girl I was seeing, Stephanie from Chatham, left me an emotional wreck the night you stayed over. I hadn't figured out that some girls just like to make the rounds back then, and they aren't worth fussing over. Even if they leave you for a frat brother.
Maybe then we would've made out, instead of just playing Streets of Rage 2 on my Dreamcast. Although, to be honest, streets of rage was pretty boss hog. And if we played Golden Axe, then is just like we did make out, only better.
Also, I'm sorry you met my mom. I know that wasn't what you bargained for, and I'm sure that was slightly awkward. I'm sure she thought you were nice. You did a great job of helping me pack up my stuff. And you were an amazing little spoon, but I'm sure you've heard that before.
Kudos on the great co-workers. I'm starting to realize how much that really matters. Its a tribal thing. Its like Odyssey of the Mind in cubicles. You may not known everyone enough to know if you like them, but you better know what they're thinking for the group points.
Anyway, I'm glad you've been following the bits and pieces of my life that I've put online. The point of soapbox was to keep track of the people that I want to keep in touch with for life.
It was good hearing from you. I'll write you soon.
Labels: personal
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Four Things
Inspired by Lina's post on soapbox:
A) Four Jobs I've had in my life.
1. All around Floral Assistant (deliveries, cleaning, wedding set up/tear down, and other non-design work)
2. Resident Network Guy (only at a college will you be able to parley a backwards worn red visor and minimal networking skills into hooking up with girls.)
3. Nuclear Utility Software Subcontrator (Don't forget that the new TPS reports have a coversheet. Did you get the memo?)
4. Defense Contractor
Four Places I have Lived:
1. Seattle, WA (Go Seahawks!)
2. Pittsburgh, PA (Go Steelers/Go Pens)
3. Wichita, KS (Home of the shockers! Go Shockers!)
4. Morgantown, WV (Go Mountaineers!)
Four TV Shows I like to Watch:
1. Battlestar Galactica
2. The Office
3. Family Guy
4. Futurama
Four places I've been on Vacation:
1. Chicoteague Island
2. New Orleans, LA
3. Rickets' Glenn, PA
4. Ohiopyle, PA (Home of FLW's Falling Water)
Four of my favorite foods:
1. White Pizza
2. Sushi
3. Chili
4. Grilled Salmon
Four Places I like to shop:
1. Amazon.com
2. Ebay.com
3. Journeys ( I <3 Diesel's shoes)
4. Barnes and Noble.
A) Four Jobs I've had in my life.
1. All around Floral Assistant (deliveries, cleaning, wedding set up/tear down, and other non-design work)
2. Resident Network Guy (only at a college will you be able to parley a backwards worn red visor and minimal networking skills into hooking up with girls.)
3. Nuclear Utility Software Subcontrator (Don't forget that the new TPS reports have a coversheet. Did you get the memo?)
4. Defense Contractor
Four Places I have Lived:
1. Seattle, WA (Go Seahawks!)
2. Pittsburgh, PA (Go Steelers/Go Pens)
3. Wichita, KS (Home of the shockers! Go Shockers!)
4. Morgantown, WV (Go Mountaineers!)
Four TV Shows I like to Watch:
1. Battlestar Galactica
2. The Office
3. Family Guy
4. Futurama
Four places I've been on Vacation:
1. Chicoteague Island
2. New Orleans, LA
3. Rickets' Glenn, PA
4. Ohiopyle, PA (Home of FLW's Falling Water)
Four of my favorite foods:
1. White Pizza
2. Sushi
3. Chili
4. Grilled Salmon
Four Places I like to shop:
1. Amazon.com
2. Ebay.com
3. Journeys ( I <3 Diesel's shoes)
4. Barnes and Noble.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The Next 4 Years
I turn 26 tomorrow. On that omission, its a slow downhill slide to 30. Its got me thinking about what I need to accomplish, or in other words, where I want to be when I'm 30.
So here's a (brief) list of goals. I'm omitting goals that are, for the most part, out of my control, such as getting married/kids because that "takes two".
I'm open to any ideas that aren't entirely cliche (e.g. "Run a Marathon"). But this is all I have for now, besides "get more sleep" because I'm tired.
So here's a (brief) list of goals. I'm omitting goals that are, for the most part, out of my control, such as getting married/kids because that "takes two".
- Own property. Or at the very least, save for a house. Hello, tax write off!
- Relocate to a more urban area. The three preliminary areas are Seattle, Wa., Boulder, Co., and Washington D.C. I have friends and family near most those areas. Its not that I don't enjoy Morgantown, but I have a feeling that what I enjoy the most (my friends) will have mostly graduated and moved on by the time I'm ready to move on.
- Finish my master's in computer science.
- Continue to swing dance. I still need to learn the Lindi Hop down pat. My footwork and timing is sloppy.
- Resume playing Piano. I played for six years and hated every god damned second of it. But that's mostly because of poor parenting. Don't ever set up music lessons for your kid on 8am on a Saturday. I don't see how my mother and father, together since they were in high school, and with nearly a decade of parenting experience thought that was going to do anything but inspire resentment and waste money. But I guess my dinosauric instructor was right: I'll be back someday.
- Travel. Travel. Travel.
- Heart hack. I just invented that term, so if its never been used before, I'm coining it. Engineering and programming teach you to recognize patterns and analyze things. You're given a toolkit to keep learning and recognize problems and solve them. I'd like to develop the same toolkit for emotional, instead of intellectual issues. Part of me thinks this might take spirituality, and re-reading the books I have written by the Dali Lama couldn't hurt, but I'm thinking some kind of rational, objectivist way of recognizing when I'm in an argument with blinders on. Or when I'm treating someone unfairly. In short, I want to re-program my emotional firmware.
- Write a book
I'm open to any ideas that aren't entirely cliche (e.g. "Run a Marathon"). But this is all I have for now, besides "get more sleep" because I'm tired.
Labels: birthdays, goals, personal, thoughts
Friday, October 12, 2007
on psychology
I was talking to a friend at work today who's recently gone off one of those adult ADHD medeications, and was talking about the 'crash'. They're known for causing depressive episodes. One of my good friends worked at a start up out of Pittsburgh where the CEO passed those kinds of pills around because we all know time is money to a start up, and who cares if one of your lead programmers has to quit because withdrawal has made him suicidally depressed....
Anyway, to be more on topic, my friend described many of the symptoms of her depressive episodes, and I found myself thinking that I've been feeling some of those as well. Quick to anger. Bouts of moroseness, more susceptible to sorrow.
I am beginning to entertain the possibility that I've recently undergone a mental health status change.
The question is "what do I do about it?"
I've heard horror stories from some of the other 'red badge' people about how what were once simple things to accomplish in the process of a background investigation or re-investigation were now suddenly difficult. I've already been through that hassle once, and anything that would make that more difficult a second time around when I become a beltway bandit or the equivalent in Boulder, CO, bothers me. I paid off nearly $4k in debt to improve my credit history, and paid off the last $5k on my car all in the last year to show that i'm one of 'the good guys'. I sacrificed.
And I want to accomplish something. That's important to me. I've moved away from friends I could honestly say I've loved twice. I know I will again, soon, after my master's is finished. I'll be 28 and have started over in a new place 3 or 4 times already, depending on how far back you want to go and what counts as starting over. I've worked on logistic systems that maintained nearly $60 million worth of assets for nuclear power plants, and the latest claim to fame is a number in the ballpark of nearly $2.7 billion worth of customs clearance in a prototype I helped build. And it will likely be operational for another year (and another 2.7 billion) before a replacement system goes live.
But I'm no good to anyone if I am batshit insane crazy. But considering the horror stories, it seems my career in this field would be over if I was even considered to be batshit insane crazy.
Nevermind that it could be perfectly normal to be mildly depressed under the circumstances and stress that I've been under.
I need to think on this more and research it more. I'm not one to sit on my hands. But I've also witnessed what happens to someone as they ignore all the warning signs that they are depressed for almost 20 years. A hollow, ruined career, a tattered marriage, and all kinds of oddities that make everyone sit, stare, and wonder. A downward spiral.
And there is nothing I would resist more than that happening to me.
Anyway, to be more on topic, my friend described many of the symptoms of her depressive episodes, and I found myself thinking that I've been feeling some of those as well. Quick to anger. Bouts of moroseness, more susceptible to sorrow.
I am beginning to entertain the possibility that I've recently undergone a mental health status change.
The question is "what do I do about it?"
I've heard horror stories from some of the other 'red badge' people about how what were once simple things to accomplish in the process of a background investigation or re-investigation were now suddenly difficult. I've already been through that hassle once, and anything that would make that more difficult a second time around when I become a beltway bandit or the equivalent in Boulder, CO, bothers me. I paid off nearly $4k in debt to improve my credit history, and paid off the last $5k on my car all in the last year to show that i'm one of 'the good guys'. I sacrificed.
And I want to accomplish something. That's important to me. I've moved away from friends I could honestly say I've loved twice. I know I will again, soon, after my master's is finished. I'll be 28 and have started over in a new place 3 or 4 times already, depending on how far back you want to go and what counts as starting over. I've worked on logistic systems that maintained nearly $60 million worth of assets for nuclear power plants, and the latest claim to fame is a number in the ballpark of nearly $2.7 billion worth of customs clearance in a prototype I helped build. And it will likely be operational for another year (and another 2.7 billion) before a replacement system goes live.
But I'm no good to anyone if I am batshit insane crazy. But considering the horror stories, it seems my career in this field would be over if I was even considered to be batshit insane crazy.
Nevermind that it could be perfectly normal to be mildly depressed under the circumstances and stress that I've been under.
I need to think on this more and research it more. I'm not one to sit on my hands. But I've also witnessed what happens to someone as they ignore all the warning signs that they are depressed for almost 20 years. A hollow, ruined career, a tattered marriage, and all kinds of oddities that make everyone sit, stare, and wonder. A downward spiral.
And there is nothing I would resist more than that happening to me.
Labels: late night thoughts, life is short, personal, ramblings
Monday, October 01, 2007
I Missed Lisa!
i went up to Pittsburgh on Friday because I thought Minus the Bear was playing Friday. I ended up hanging out with my friend Lisa and getting drunk in the south side with her. Great times. Let me say it again: Great times. I've known Lisa almost as long as I've known anyone I still speak to in my life. I'm her longest known friend. Since my group of friends in Pittsburgh was so tight, we've got a close history. And this was our first time hanging out (alone) together in ages.
We hit up Club Diesel in the south side, and after a few vodka and cranberries ($2.00 special!) we danced to the techno music with her friends from high school, who showed up celebrating a 21st bday just coincidentally. I think the feeling in the world is when you're dancing with a close friend and both of you are having fun and neither of you are taking it seriously. We cracked up on the dance floor multiple times. It was like when I'd dance with a friend at Vice, only more exaggerated.
We also crashed a VIP area. Good times. No, scratch that. Great times.
We then hit up my old watering hole in the south side -- Jekyl and Hyde's. Its a halloween motif'd bar. I was warned by Chuck that its a shadow of its pale self. It was indeed. It was a Duquensce bar through and through. Everything was there in the material form, but the spirit had gone out of the bar. It was just another dimly lit watering hole for rich, preppy, greek college kids. Lisa and I hung out on the bar stools and talked over the music and crowd until my voice was so wraspy it was giving out.
That didn't stop me from singing along to Bedford as I drove us back. I was even on key for two or three songs before my voice gave out.
Lisa, when you get a chance to read this, thank you for being you. Just when I needed a laugh deep from the soul, you popped up and delivered. You're a true friend. Visit soon.
We hit up Club Diesel in the south side, and after a few vodka and cranberries ($2.00 special!) we danced to the techno music with her friends from high school, who showed up celebrating a 21st bday just coincidentally. I think the feeling in the world is when you're dancing with a close friend and both of you are having fun and neither of you are taking it seriously. We cracked up on the dance floor multiple times. It was like when I'd dance with a friend at Vice, only more exaggerated.
We also crashed a VIP area. Good times. No, scratch that. Great times.
We then hit up my old watering hole in the south side -- Jekyl and Hyde's. Its a halloween motif'd bar. I was warned by Chuck that its a shadow of its pale self. It was indeed. It was a Duquensce bar through and through. Everything was there in the material form, but the spirit had gone out of the bar. It was just another dimly lit watering hole for rich, preppy, greek college kids. Lisa and I hung out on the bar stools and talked over the music and crowd until my voice was so wraspy it was giving out.
That didn't stop me from singing along to Bedford as I drove us back. I was even on key for two or three songs before my voice gave out.
Lisa, when you get a chance to read this, thank you for being you. Just when I needed a laugh deep from the soul, you popped up and delivered. You're a true friend. Visit soon.
Labels: life is short, personal, ramblings
A pissy personal post
A friend of mine recently betrayed a confidence. Nothing major, and its really nothing to get personal about. But here's the kicker: I confronted this person and they denied it to my face. They're sticking to their guns.
As they say in Washington, "Its not the crime that gets you, its the cover up."
I know they don't read this, but that person is essentially dead to me. I've been trying to live by the belief that its better to sell bridges than than burn them, but every now and then you come upon one that you feel is just worthless. There is nothing I can do because I cannot control this person's actions or trust them to do anything but be petty attention whores.
But enough of this negative venting of words. What's done is done, and now that I've reacted to it, I can move on.
As they say in Washington, "Its not the crime that gets you, its the cover up."
I know they don't read this, but that person is essentially dead to me. I've been trying to live by the belief that its better to sell bridges than than burn them, but every now and then you come upon one that you feel is just worthless. There is nothing I can do because I cannot control this person's actions or trust them to do anything but be petty attention whores.
But enough of this negative venting of words. What's done is done, and now that I've reacted to it, I can move on.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Pattern Recognition
Finished Gibson's book "Pattern Recognition" and I loved it. It was brilliant. I've got to free read more.
Labels: blogging, books, personal
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Megan's Birthday
I had a throat infection so bad that I pretty much lost my ability to speak this weekend, which didn't deter me from trying to wish Megan a happy birthday. We hit the up beginning of Oktoberfest, which was by far an awesome festival, if only Penn Pilsner wasn't such a ass-tastic beer (of this, we all agree). It was fun as we watched one of our group, Alison, get picked up by a first year law student. After he had separated her from the herd and started buying her drinks, he repeatedly attempted to get her to go home with him by using the lines, "Wanna go out to my car?" and "I just wanna talk.". After that, I think those were my catch phrases for the night.
Oh, and the guy was totally not creepy. ;) He just wanted to talk.
After the 'fest we hit up south side, my old home and prowling grounds. It hasn't changed much. The one thing about Pittsburgh is its always full of familiar faces. I ran into two girls that I somewhat knew from college. A former co-worker from my previous job, a friend of a friend, two former Pitt students that used to be engineers, and a girl I remember from being a Tower C ResCon. But at the same time, I don't really know these people enough to care what's up with most of them, so I didn't bother engaging in smalltalk (see Throat Infection).
Pittsburgh feels like a small town. In retrospect, its because it is.
I played a little BioShock on my friend's xbox 360, and I like it. The game has that System Shock feel I liked from my PC Gamer days. Go Rich Story FPSes.
All in all, aside from being sick, it was a good weekend. I needed to get away.
Oh, and the guy was totally not creepy. ;) He just wanted to talk.
After the 'fest we hit up south side, my old home and prowling grounds. It hasn't changed much. The one thing about Pittsburgh is its always full of familiar faces. I ran into two girls that I somewhat knew from college. A former co-worker from my previous job, a friend of a friend, two former Pitt students that used to be engineers, and a girl I remember from being a Tower C ResCon. But at the same time, I don't really know these people enough to care what's up with most of them, so I didn't bother engaging in smalltalk (see Throat Infection).
Pittsburgh feels like a small town. In retrospect, its because it is.
I played a little BioShock on my friend's xbox 360, and I like it. The game has that System Shock feel I liked from my PC Gamer days. Go Rich Story FPSes.
All in all, aside from being sick, it was a good weekend. I needed to get away.
Labels: birthdays, friends, Gaming, personal, pittsburgh
Sunday, August 26, 2007
In this episode our hero takes a page from Billy Idol and Dances with Himself
Saturday night was a let down. I hung out with my law school friend, MP, and her friends from Marshall. The only problem is that they were all paired up. So this left me as the 5th wheel. It was less comical than you think.
Three observations:
and happy. It does not say those who kiss their wife before they leave work, or those in happy relationship, but simply being in a relationship is a different "set" of brainspace.
As I shift from one brainspace to another, I risk imploding into some kind of self-centered (more than usual), angst-ridden, withdrawn version of myself. I've already recognized the pattern I'm falling into. So trying to surround myself with chill people who help me "move past" this phase is definitely a short-term goal. However, it also contradicts my goal of actually getting shit done for grad school. I'm starting to realize that my one "real" class is going to be more demanding than I thought. Its another "brainspace" issue. I hate theory classes.
What you want from another person is really what you want in yourself. While I don't plan on withdrawing like I did the last time I split up after a long-term relationship, I don't plan on looking for anything. Instead, I plan on seeking out the qualities I desire within. I like fun-loving people. I need to learn how to make my own fun.
Three observations:
- The White Tie is out of style. Everyone is doing it now. And nobody was pulling it off even nearly as well I did. Well, except the guy who was dressed up like some kind of half-sailor, half-village people tribute group member.
- If you're not enough where you can grow facial hair, please do not sport any at a club. 95% of men can't pull off facial hair well anyway. Having some kind of scraggily scruff all over your face is not remotely appealing to anyone outside of a trailer park or middle school dance.
- You must be at least 10 years of my age to have the privilege of talking to me and not creeping me out.
and happy. It does not say those who kiss their wife before they leave work, or those in happy relationship, but simply being in a relationship is a different "set" of brainspace.
As I shift from one brainspace to another, I risk imploding into some kind of self-centered (more than usual), angst-ridden, withdrawn version of myself. I've already recognized the pattern I'm falling into. So trying to surround myself with chill people who help me "move past" this phase is definitely a short-term goal. However, it also contradicts my goal of actually getting shit done for grad school. I'm starting to realize that my one "real" class is going to be more demanding than I thought. Its another "brainspace" issue. I hate theory classes.
What you want from another person is really what you want in yourself. While I don't plan on withdrawing like I did the last time I split up after a long-term relationship, I don't plan on looking for anything. Instead, I plan on seeking out the qualities I desire within. I like fun-loving people. I need to learn how to make my own fun.
Labels: love,