The Robot's Thoughts

Better late than never

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 04:56:00 +0000

Fallout 3 has forced me to finally break down and bite the bullet.

So today, with my big fat and as-of-yet-unspent paycheck, I broke down and bought a Xbox 360 Pro system (I don't need the Elite), Fallout 3, and a DVI adapter. It came in at a little over $400 from Amazon with overnight shipping. Not too shabby.

My First Dyno Test

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 22:13:00 +0000

Okay, so I'm only pulling a little better than a stock 4 cylinder Galant, but I finally have a baseline for all the work I've put in. Now I can move towards upping the number.

Love with an incurable condition

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 17:09:00 +0000

Here's a story about a woman with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and how it changed her life.

MSNBC is re-publishing this from CondeNast, the publisher behind Wired Magazine. I admire this woman's ability to talk about how being diagnosed -- being told face to face that the clock is ticking and time is running out -- filled her with a hunger for life. And a hunger for love.

I'm going to end with this quote, because it just feels relevant to how i'm feeling these days:

"You can wake up pissed off or you can focus on everything you’re grateful for."

Tomorrow I could die in a fiery car wreck. Or earn myself a Darwin Award (we all know how I love four wheelers and ramps). No point in stressing over System.OutOfMemory exceptions and bills that are a day late, or dinner plans undone. Sometimes just reading/hearing a quote like this, I can literally feel a mountain of stress just melt off my back, and whatever black tendrils of angst coiled around my heart relax just a little bit. So I thought I'd share.

Another Birthday Came and Went

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:16:00 +0000

Another Year, another birthday. Another weekend of blurry memories.

I'd like to honestly state that my reckless, feckless, and boundless partying was getting less over the top and less self-indulgent as I grew older and my ability to recuperate by Monday gets weaker. However, that's not the case. It is some measure of improvement that this was the first time I got black out drunk in six years. I had not been that close to lit up. I'd like to add that I'm dealing with circumstances where I am not driving, have no stairs to navigate, am surrounded by friends, most of our valuables are locked up, and one of the roommates is sober if there were an emergency.

All that aside, I'd like to introduce a new house party benchmark: The Wilson Index. Its the number of unintended overnight guests, plus the number of people who have memory blackouts, plus the number of people who ended up getting some form of ass that night, divided by the number of roommates present at the party. In this case, the Wilson Index was something like 3.33333. Good times.

Party aside, this feels like one of the busiest months of my life. A friend of mine is working at a venture capital corporation after leaving a failed start up. He's following the startup's CEO and CTO. He's pitching ideas and having me sneak a peak as he searches for funding. Reviewing his applications, providing decent feedback in both a business sense, and a technical sense, as well as working and classes has been exhausting.

I actually have a decent costume for halloween this year. I'm going as Sweeny Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. I'll post pictures of the costume later. I wore it to WVU's Halloween Swing Dance. It can get very hot swing dancing in two layers of clothing. Leaves me out of breathe.

So here were my birthday goals.

Get "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" Season 3 on DVD.
Pay off half my credit card debt.
Ask someone to dinner.

I managed to get (1) and (2) done. I actually accomplished (3) -- with a positive answer -- but not before my birthday. Part of me is still waiting for "the other shoe" to drop. Surprise paper/exam they forgot about; grandmother died; outbreak of avian flu.

But assuming all goes well, I've got the perfect knock-knock joke to break the ice.

Me: Knock, Knock.
Them: Who's there?
Me: Socially Awkward Guy.
Them: Socially Akward Guy who?
Me: (Awkwardly Panics).

Anyway, I have one exam left -- really my own exam, since I quit Data Mining due to Professor Blowhard's arrogant attitude towards the value of my time vs. the fruits of my labor for him, but I don't feel prepared for it. I would like to do well on it, so as to have some breathing room for the last stretch of the class.

Let's Play Clowns!

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:54:00 +0000

Before we leave home, our night is still
And we lay on the bed fully dressed
This is a new thing
And we both deserve this,
One night with no one.

It's rare to feel this expensive
But next to a girl like her
It's impossible not to.
In this house, in this town.

Before we leave home, we are alone
And now new thoughts come
If the car won't start, would it be better if it did?
But I know it will
And this we'll lose
A moon to look to
From inside out
Without the lights on

It's rare to feel this expensive
But next to a girl like her
It's impossible not to.
In this house, in this town.

It's still early
A bright 10:30
And we speed through the evening.

Music by: Minus the Bear.
Album: They Make Beer Commercials Like This
Year: 2004

This does not compute to me

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:56:00 +0000

Today on my way to work (after class), I got passed by a Cadillac CTS V6. Its license plate read "TREEHUGGR".

The CTS is one of the worse (in terms of polluting) V6 cars on the market. It gets a combined city and highway mileage of 19mpg. It emits, on average, 9.6 tons of CO2 per year. It is not the car you drive if you consider yourself a treehugger. Especially since, if you can afford a Cadillac, you can certain afford a hybrid from Ford, Toyota, Honda, or Lexus.

Alternate license plate suggestion from me: "NATURAPER".

No Words Need Be Spoken

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 03:25:00 +0000

No words need be spoken.
I shall not hate you, Rather
I respect and admire your efforts
It confirms the innate goodness
I saw in you.

Just don't ask if
I'm going to forget you.
I can't answer that
straight faced.
But I'm not the same.
I'm not the same person who stayed with you till dawn.
And you are not the same person who stayed with me.

This note has been left
intentionally unfinished.

Black Wenesday; Birthdays; In Sickness and In Health; Ice Cream Socials

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 17:27:00 +0000

No, I don't have schizophrenia, at least, not yet. I just felt that in this to-be-epic update, I should jumble down a lot of topics to serve as topics to which I will textually orate on.

First and foremost, while writing this post, I just received a call, The empty bedroom in our 4 bedroom apartment is getting filled by a girl named Sierra. She should be moving in today or tomorrow. This will no doubt be interesting. We always felt that they wouldn't put a loner in with 3 people who've known each other for 2-3 years now. Let's just hope it doesn't disrupt the dynamic the three of us have going.

Speaking of home front news, my roommate Ken got a kitten. Its something like 2-3 months. Its tiny as all get up. And skittish to boot. I'll probably post some pictures of the little guy later.

Another birthday approaches. In 9 days I'm going to officially be one year older. Pushing 30 much? This "late twenties" phase feels like a "twilight" of the early to mid 20s. Not much has changed. People haven't changed. The world isn't getting any brighter or kinder. More and more people just seem to want to retreat to the comfort of their bubble.

I guess I just feel adrift. I'm wondering what I'm supposed to learn about myself next in order to become the person I'm supposed to be.

Worse than being set adrift, is the abysmal plummet that is the stock market. Its a sad tale about how we got into this mess, and its going to be an even sadder one before we get out. I think we need to adopt the kind of regulation that Scott Adams' has purposed in the past: If you can't explain how you're making money to a six year and make him understand, what you're doing is probably illegal. That pretty much covers the financial sector. I'm tempted to track down my ex-girlfriend from my sophomore year of college and see how she's doing now that Wall St. is in complete meltdown.

Considering international banks around the world cut interests rates today in order to stave off an international bank panic that could've led to a global financial collapse, today might be the day where you order the fiddle you're going to play while the rest of the world burns.

God Bless the dip-shit short sightedness, reckless optimism, and compulsive greed of Reaganomics, right? *Cues the team america theme song.*

These past few weeks of September, having dropped a course that taught me that slave-labor for professors isn't at all enjoyable, I've actually had enough time to work out. I've started swimming 1 kilometer 3 days a week, lifting weights, and playing raquetball. I easily lost 5 lbs.

Then I got sick. My head is stuffed up like nobody's business. A sore throat like you wouldn't believe. So I've been sitting on my ass, watching HBO, drinking Gatorade and eating chicken soup, and probably gaining 5 lbs. It sucks. I was really getting back into the swing of things.

The fact that I totally pigged out on an ice cream social at work today didn't help either.

Ah well. Enough for now. More later.

This just in

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 14:32:00 +0000

It turns out that alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and lack of sleep and exercise all reduce a man's fertility.

With that in mind, at least my lifestyle serves as its own birth control.

I've needed to post more but I've never really had the time. I've had my first run in with a "mad professor". Every grad student encounters one of these guys. They are the guys who consider you to be slave labor. You're in grad school, so your time is "free", and therefore, worthless. So he can do whatever he wants with it.

So, instead of teaching Data Mining, like it says in the course description, he's going to convert you all in to LISP hackers. Because apparently, machine learning can't happen unless you've written the code in LISP. And rather than lecture you on data mining, he will lecture you on LISP. And reference paper's you're required to read on your own time. When you're not too busy coding in LISP. Or writing the textbook I've asked you to write for me. Or learning LaTex so you can write the textbook for me in the markup language of my choosing.

Okay, long story short, I had a prof who expected something like 20+ hrs/week of group work for a 3 credit class. Seeing as myself and one other member of my group were 40-hour week professionals, who value on our time, it wasn't happening. So I'm withdrawing from the class. And setting me back another 3 months in terms of graduating.

So that makes my graduation date something like 2011 or 2012. Except I honestly don't know if I could stand to be in WV that long. So I might switch over from the Computer Science Masters to the Software Engineering Masters. Its designed for professionals, so most of the classes are at night and there's a distance learning option. That means I could finish my master's remotely. Like in another state.

And this brings me to another recent development. A friend of mine is seeking seed money from a venture capital firm. He wants to do a 3-person web start up. I like the idea -- its sound, in my mind, from a technical and business stand point, and I've always wanted to try my hand at a start up. Working for myself has some appeal. Equity is what you make of it, and all. And its gotta beat working for a client that "fears" javascript. So if he gets it, I'm going to become a founder with him. We'd only have enough funding to last six months -- until/unless we secure additional funding. But I'm old enough where I want to take a shot and make a name for myself. I'll provide an update on whether or not this happens around October, because that's when the VC firm's deadlines are, apparently.

I've got more to post, but I'll do it in another update.

A long awaited update

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 18:06:00 +0000

Okay, so I haven't had much free time lately because of grad school and other obligations. Allow me to fill you in on what I've been doing:

Grad School: My friend Charles the Fourth, Duke of Some Optical Shit nobody really understands, once told that graduate classes either "break your balls, or seem to be a complete waste of time.". Well, this semester I'm taking two ball breaking classes. I'm taking the graduate level analysis of algorithms class -- which seems to be very proof oriented. I'm also taking a class that has to do with using LISP to make a machine learner capable of making predictions based off of a dataset. In other words, a data miner.

Now, my group might actually get to do something that advances science: Design a learner that is capable of predicting sectors of space where its likely a Pulsar is, but we're waiting to hear back from the professor to see if that's too much.

But yeah, classes and work are very time consuming. I forgot how comfortable I was merely working 40 hours a week and hanging out.

Renaissance Fair: I hit up the Pittsburgh Renaissance Fair. It was a good time. I bought another "worry" ring. Its a ring with a decorative band that "spins" around the outer band. They're called worry rings, because people have a tendency to play with them unconsciously when they're worried.

Oral Surgery: I've decided to have my wisdom teeth removed. After my semester is over. So I've been dealing with Dentists and finding an oral surgeon.

Video Games: Before my semester started, I picked up Final Fantasy III for my Nintendo Gameboy DS again. I've also been playing Penny Arcade's "On the Rain Slick Precipice Of Darkness: Episode One" video game. Both have been highly enjoyable.

Reading: I picked up Neil Gaiman's "Ananzi Boys". Its a tale of two brothers, Fat Charlies and Spider, who find out after their father's passing that he was actually Ananzi, the spider god. I didn't put it down until I was done reading it. It was that enjoyable. If you have a friend who likes to read, this is the book to get him or her for their birthday.

There's more, but I'm going to stop now, and just start posting on a regular basis. Its more interesting and lively that way.

Links From Today's Lunch Break.

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 19:39:00 +0000

Since I posted a small rant last night and have yet to get any comments, I figure I'll dazzle everyone with a small list of links that I stumbled on today while taking a break from the research I'm doing for one of my software projects.

Rhapsody Music is selling 114 songs in DRM free 256kpbs MP3 format from the smashing pumpkins. That's $.18/song. Its all rarities or B-sides. This won't last long, so if you're got the $20 to spend on the album, go for it.

This post on the consumerist gives the skinny about the "non-mechanics" at a Jiffy Lube intentionally wrecking a new Pontiac G6's oil plug when the owner requests that they leave it a little loose now that "her husband will be changing her oil from now on". It goes without saying that places like Jiffy Lube and Grease Monkey employ people willing to work on cars all day for $6/hour and have no vocational school training (at least, none is required) or any certifications. That's why its always a good idea to either do it yourself (if you're capable) or take it to a trained, skilled, and (hopefully bonded) mechanic. Consider any difference in price "piece of mind".

If you are in the market for a new car, say because you've found out that Mazda, Honda, and Mitsubishi are all offering 0% APR for 60 months (that's a long time) for qualified buyers, or because you're getting married and need to lay the old clunker to rest before its wheels fall off, Consumer Reports has published a list of the top 10 most fuel efficient cars in price per mpg. That means getting the most fuel bang for you buck. The Honda Fit Sport leads the pack, with the Mazda 3 and Toyota Prius following close behind it. Not seen on the list: Any American made economy cars. Let's hope GM's still around to release the Chevy Volt in 2010.

Speaking of the Chevy Volt, if the idea of a plug in series hybrid car that's almost as aerodynamic as the Honda Insight that can get nearly 40 miles range on its electric motor, there's an "Unofficial Wait List" to indicate interest to GM. They also want to know what you think the Volt is worth (as in your ideal MSRP) and what you'd put down on one as a down payment/deposit.

Even though the Volt is planning on being released in 2010, don't expect to see too many of them. GM is having them built by hand just like the EV1. That means production is going to be limited to 10,000 vehicles the first year. And it means its very easy to shut down production because the labor is costly (making the car more expensive) and the factory doesn't have to be re-tooled. Expect GM to bet that the price of oil will drop, gas will level out at $3.50/gallon for a year or two, and people will feel comfortable with a V6 Chevy Tahoe "CrossOver". The American auto industry's tombstone will read "They just didn't get it".

On a lighter note, here's a post titled "10 Things You Should Know About Asian Girls...Revised". If you're well adjusted, this is going to read as "common sense". Things like "Don't assume I speak bad english. I could be faking it to get away from the creepy old guy." and "Don't assume I get turned on by you knowing Kung Fu." and "My family will want to see if you're interested in just me, or also interested and accepting of my culture."

So it may not be an interesting read for you. Its the tone that I like. Its written like its talking down to the kind of D.C. douchebag that bemoans that "dating is sooooo hard" and that from now on, he's only dating Latina or Asian women exclusively, because white women figure out his passive-aggressive bullshit before he could even mention that he "used to be a millionaire on paper". Old soapbox postings like that get me all choked up, if just because the level of pathetic and stupid mixed in such a douchey way.

Lastly, after that rant, I'm going out on a classy note. Here's an article talking about the easiest income source for hot chicks: Internet Money. You don't even have to get naked or be a cam-whore. These days, so many people are online, that a video of you playing Wii Fit in your boyfriend's t-shirt and a bikini bottom might be enough to earn you some crazy AdSense cash. Didn't really watch any of the videos since YouTube is kinda "not acceptable use" but I'm sure someone, somewhere is offended at the idea of "hinting about showing your boobies == money".

Nothing Angers Me More

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 03:42:00 +0000

Nothing angers me more than the bumper sticker seen below parked in a "High Technology Park". Seriously, evolution is one of the finest and foremost theories produced by the scientific method. The scientific method is something you should be intimately familiar with if you're pretending to be a scientist or an engineer -- or even a computer programmer. I'm not saying you're allowed to have religious beliefs. But when your religious beliefs are directly contradicted by science -- its not science that's lying. A willfully ignorant computer engineer, computer scientist, or Program Manager for either has no place in the industry. That's how I feel about it, and I'm sticking to it.

Seriously, its a bad sign when you're living in denial like that and people depend on you. Even Jesus would bitch slap the ignorance out of you. People with such antiquated Luddite beliefs belong to the greeters at Wal-Mart, not the "high technology" industry here in West Virginia.

Forbes' Top 15 Hardest-Drinking Cities

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 20:09:00 +0000

Here's a link to cities, ranked by percentage of population, that answered "Yes" to questions like "I have more than 2 drinks a day" or "I have five or more drinks on a special occasion.".

My old stomping ground of Pittsburgh is #11. Detroit is at the bottom of the list, but that's because I'm guessing the average person in Detroit is so fucked right now they've either upgraded to Crystal Meth or they're too broke to even buy beer. #10 is Cincinnati, which is a slightly shittier city than Pittsburgh, but at the same time, well off enough people can afford to get tanked. Pittsburgh and Cincinnati fit into that "prosperous enough to keep on drinking" economic index.

And the number one city: Austin, TX. Congrats, Austin.

Where is Bob? Tales of an Absentee Manager

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:09:00 +0000

Here's a site that's worth checking out.
Its basically a small-university IT employee cataloging the absenteeism of her incompetent boss, Bob.

I'm sure the names are changed to protect the innocent, but again, its an entertaining read. It reminds me of the combined stupidity of the managers of my old, old workplace. We called it it "Rob and Paul Show". The downside was they weren't nearly absent enough for anyone to get any real work done.

Kudos to the saint of all chucks for the find.

Contra 4 is too badass for me to handle

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 17:06:00 +0000

I got Contra 4 for the Nintendo DS. I've finally picked up my DS and started playing it again. Its a strange contrast: The Wii was more expensive, has more potential for multiplayer, and receives much more hype for its new approach, but so far, games aside from Nintendo's have pretty much sucked. With the sole exception being Boom Blox. That game is addictive and awesome. But even Nintendo's offerings have been the pinnacle of lack luster. Smash Brothers only lets one person play online? Really? The XBox could handle 4 player Halo 2 online, and the Wii has something like 1.5x the power. Intentionally releasing crippleware like that makes me a sad panda.

Contra 4 for the DS, on the other hand, reminds you that you are soft. Contra 4 makes you ponder what you could've been, if only you had accepted that invitation to join Operation Project Mayhem. If, for instance, your family's feud with the Mocato Ninja Clan lead to you being the sole survivor of your family, and you dedicated every day since that massacre to mastering the arts of ninjitsu, dedicated to becoming the ultimate engine of grisly revenge.

That is the kind of gamer skill you need to be to survive Contra 4 DS. On easy. The first time you play it, your ass is cookie dough. By the time you're done with it, you're carved out of wood.

So yeah, Contra 4 is insanely hard, but its also fun. Intensity matters. Contra 4 does not coddle you or pander to you. Contra 4 is a fulcrum. It decides whether you're pure enough in mettle and spirit, or merely an impurity to be chewed up, and spit back out.

Everything you need to know about Tucker Max in a nutshell.

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 13:34:00 +0000

Tucker Max is trying to make his "I hope they serve Beer in Hell" book into a movie. The script is laughable. Piss poor laughable.

Here's pretty much all I have to say about it:

9:33:29 AM) redrobotXXXX: because trying to play 1 upsmanship with a bunch of douchebags is like trying to go somewhere with a blind driver.

Yeah. So, um, let's hope this Tucker Max walks out in front of someone's 3-series, brah.

Monday Morning Distractions until I get a real post up

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 04:18:00 +0000

Here's a link that shows a list of images found doing a google image search for the word "Oops". Safe for work.

You know that guy at the office that you really want to prank? Sign him up for a Hannah Montana wake up call.

An internet blog post titled "how to hire an idiot".

Enjoy. More later.

Informative Information

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 03:38:00 +0000

Here's some links to entertain you. This is what I was reading today that made me laugh.

There's a new search engine on the block trying to take down "The Google". Its called Cuil.com. Its supposed to be pronounced as "Cool". It also apparently sucks (but I haven't tried it). But here's a story about how Cuil.com has supposedly blown through 33 million in venture capital by doing things like paying for lunch and breakfast for every employee, having a personal trainer on staff for all employees, every employee having a gym membership, a doctor making the rounds after the company wide Friday BBQ, and a sports car for every executive.

Carl's Jr. has come out with a new breakfast sandwhich that can only be described as "Nothing I’d rather shut my heart down with more than bacon, egg, cheese, and sausage. I just hope it’s not too big. I would hate to not be able to eat one of these while I cram a second one straight up my asshole."

Finally, here's a documentary if you've got an hour to kill: Its called "The Future of Food". It takes about genetically engineered food and the risks involved in contaminating the food supply, and organic food. Its really, really interesting and I recommend it.

Britian's View of "Most Fabulous Body"

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 13:04:00 +0000

This just in among British Men: Curves are the new thin.

Chest Pain

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:32:00 +0000

Yesterday I woke up with some "insanely painful" chest pain. I think it was a delayed effect of all the hedonism from this weekend. I barely made it to my car pool.

Today, however, I'm happy to report, involves waking up without any tightness or pain in my chest.

Oh, another thing about the party I threw this weekend: Someone stole my deodorant. Really. It was the one thing missing from my room. You think someone would take my playstation 2. Or my digital camera that was being passed around. Or one of my iPods. But no, someone stole a used stick of deodorant. Puzzle over that during the rest of the day. I know I have.

Costume Party

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 05:19:00 +0000

Its been a long time since I've "kicked the tires" as hard I did this past weekend. Me and my roommates threw a costume party ("Halfway to Halloween -- Belated Dance Party Hyper Alpha Edition"). Here's some of the "work safe/safe to be public" photos from a party that got way out of hand. I had to stay up till 7am to recover.

This is a pic of the three party guests who are also members of the WVU Swing Dance Club.

Nicole as an 80s rocker chick.

Bi-sexual spiderman giving someone the middle finger for ragging on him for chasing some of the party jailbait.

Me in costume as a cowboy. I spent $12 at Wal-Mart on the costume.

Why so serious?

A picture of my pet turtle, Logo. Notice he's essentially a giant now?

The sexy nurse.

All in all, a great weekend was had. More later. This should get you through your morning routine, tho.

Nepotism Trumps Competence

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 16:12:00 +0000

This article on the dailywtf.com sure brings back memories. The shithole that was my last job sounds exactly like this place. And it reminds me of a story I want to tell. Maybe one, depending on comments/feedback, I might submit to TheDailyWTF itself.

Its all in how it looks.

My last task at my former workplace was to develop a CRM Portal. CRM stands for "Customer Relations Management". Essentially, I was overhauling the entire company website, and adding on a "private" section where clients (or potential clients) could log on, and view their projects, and see the development and test versions of their software projects. It would also house all the project's documentation and requirements. So, if you're a software developer, think of a customized install of Trac. Written and developed by one person, who's got about a year of experience writing .NET web applications. Who's doing everything from database design, documenting requirements, developing the code, testing the code, and prettying up the frontend.

To top it off, since we had nothing like this at all in our infrastructure, it was "Priority #1A" that I get this application up and running. It was also "Priority #1A" that I rush the application out the door because, as the President of the company put it, "You don't have a charge code. You're burning up overhead." (At this point, we had burned something like $200K in overhead in money we didn't have on various un-billable tasks.). Most of our tools had been various "re-invent the wheel from scratch" tools, done only half-right and only working half the time, because again, in the words of our infinitely wise President, "I'd rather spend $10K on you guys (who we referred to as his "A-Team") than spend it on software where we don't have control of the source" (and yet, we couldn't use Open Source Software because we were ".NET shop".)

So despite pressure to just churn out a finely polished turd, I knew that whatever I did, there would an incredibly long list of changes to the look, feel, and behavior of the "portal" application as soon as it was presentable. Instead of following our "one, true, established way" of creating applications -- the monolithic approach with lots of copy and paste, I actually tried to separate function and form. This meant I was building a layered application, with separation of duties between business objects, a data access layer, and presentation. As a shop, nobody had really tried to do that, as any realistic schedule to get a functioning application out the door was quickly slashed so that we were forced to just churn, churn, churn. Our president did not believe that architecture and testing paid for themselves.

Finally, having reached a presentable status (meaning: I had pages that behaved like an actual web application), the company president finally got to review the portal. He was already upset at how it was taking so long, and that until this point "I had nothing to show for it". If you haven't already guessed, the president of our "software division" had no idea of the complexity of code behind any of our pages, and just judged applications on whether they worked like he expected them to, and if they had lots of .NET controls on every page. Never mind how complicated or simple the business logic behind the pretty page was.

As an added bonus, I'll freely admit I'm a horrible web interface designer. While we were supposed to master web application development "from top to bottom, front to back", my previous assignment (which lasted nearly 4 months) had been writing PL/SQL stored procedures for another application. While other team were becoming more proficient at CSS-based layouts, I was learning how to best optimize our applications database logic. So I was naturally more skilled "on the back end". I hadn't learned what the company president liked to see in a web page, or expected to see (again, no documented requirements on how this "portal site" was supposed to work. Simply a "you figure it out" command).

Needless to say, expecting changes in page layout, I didn't really commit much time to a "stylish design". I figured a minimalist design could successfully showcase working features, and could be styled up. I even stated so much in the first review.

The first review did not go well. Aside from picking apart my "minimalist" design for lacking decorative colors, "webby javascript stuff" (direct quote there), and "looking very much incomplete", my boss failed to appreciate any of my hard work. Most of the features worked! Of course, functionality lost over form. Nitpicking the layout seemed to be the purpose of our review meetings.

And so that became my daily routine. The all-hands morning meeting. My one-on-one with the president, where he'd always give me a day's worth of UI overhauling (and contradicting yesterday's design decisions) and then going back to my cube to implement the changes.

On day 3 of this routine, I was informed that I'd be getting an intern to help me out. One of our client's had a high-school aged son with some web layout experience. He had no programming experience, but he was his high school's ultimate frisbee club's webmaster.

I sat him down and showed him how the application was laid out. He basically knew HTML and CSS (and had a better sense of style than I did) so after a quick run down on what it does he was able to get up and running. Our daily meeting was delayed an hour or so because the President had more pressing business, and a co-worker needed my help dealing with a database problem.

I come out my co-worker's cube to find that the meeting between the company president, myself, and the intern had started without me. The intern was showing off the styles he'd applied to the master template and the president seemed pleased. I feel relieved. Now we can actually start using this thing. I can move onto a project that's bringing in revenue and not have to deal with our presidents daily musings on what is "webby enough" to represent us to the internet.

About an hour later, a co-worker tells me that the intern is being put in charge of the remainder of the portal project. Not understanding cascading style sheets, it turns out our company president believes that the intern entirely recoded the web pages he showed off (including the back end functionality) in the sitdown meeting, instead of just applying new styles and layout. In his mind, with that kind of programming skill, he was more qualified to finish up the project than I was. I was re-assigned elsewhere (to another "re-invent the wheel from scratch" app) shortly before being laid off (something about being $200k in the red because of project mismanagement).

So it turns out its about how something looks, and not how it works.

I'd appreciate comments, especially advice on how to cut this down in to a more reasonable anecdote.

Post 526: Dreamhost.com is a bunch of dicks

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 03:42:00 +0000

If you've bothered to check in on me in the past week or so, you've probably noticed that my site was down. Its only partially my fault.

See, having a 3 year old laptop that's already had the hard drive die once, and my file server being a 9 year old Blue & White G3 Mac Tower that's been upgraded in a patchwork fashion, I'm hesitant of storing my files on a single drive.

Imagine all those images I have from college parties that are for me and my friends alone. All the pictures from the first family reunion I attended in something like 13 years. Pictures of the cats I rescued with Erin two years ago.

So of course, having dreamhost give me 500GBs of web space for $300/year seemed like a pretty good deal. I could archive all those "don't want to lose" files on a web site that's backing stuff up and uses RAID.

Turns out, this is a "Terms of Service" violation. "We're not a back up service" is the reason stated by "Kelli", the person who handled my account. Dreamhost.com, being the nice guys that they are, didn't just tell me to stop -- even tho the files have been sitting on their servers for nearly 2 years, but they simply terminated my account and took my money.

So yeah, not really big fans of them at this point in time. Basically, they terminated my account because I was using a lot of space -- space which they promised me. But they can basically free up anyone who's a "loser" (profit-wise) and keep their incredibly over-sold boxes chugging along.

Anyway, so now you know the story. They were also a huge pain to transfer my domains away from. It definitely pissed me off, but at least I can say I've got my own private server working for me now. Nothing impressive, but its mine.

M.C. McCain is not down with the draft

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 15:39:00 +0000

(11:13:22 AM) valaXXXX: http://www.reuters.com/article/politicsNews/idUSN2438836820080625
(11:13:26 AM) valaXXXX: news like this is comforting
(11:14:09 AM) redrobot5050: yeah, what's it called when you invade 2 countries for no good reason?
(11:14:16 AM) redrobot5050: oh yeah, imperialism
(11:14:24 AM) redrobot5050: def. not a draft situation
(11:14:41 AM) redrobot5050: i mean, when we're maiming 30,000 soldiers and teaching them that voting republican is a mistake
(11:15:07 AM) redrobot5050: its nice to know that nobody but their families and their friends will be asked to sacrifice for the good of the country
(11:15:12 AM) valaXXXX: gonna need a draft after that
(11:15:19 AM) redrobot5050: its like Chrysler's $2.99/gallon gas
(11:15:25 AM) redrobot5050: we're locking in "prosperity"
(11:15:40 AM) valaXXXX: i wish i could get a lock on prosperity
(11:15:47 AM) redrobot5050: (Hint: WWIII == war with iran)
(11:16:27 AM) valaXXXX: yeah, believe that was implied right?
(11:17:23 AM) valaXXXX: Dobson, who has previously said he will not vote for McCain because of his past support for stem cell research, on Tuesday said the Arizona senator wasn't doing enough to stop gay marriage in his home state.
(11:17:36 AM) valaXXXX: tollerant people those christian leaders are
(11:17:45 AM) valaXXXX: "fuck those homos in wheel chairs, and their hope"
(11:17:49 AM) valaXXXX: im fine brah
(11:18:21 AM) redrobot5050: yeah
(11:18:44 AM) redrobot5050: if only christianity was a religion that was founded by a messianic leader who believed in peace, love, and brotherhood
(11:19:14 AM) redrobot5050: not homophobia, nationalism/fascism, and monday night sports (football or wrestling, take your pick)
(11:20:06 AM) valaXXXX: yeah, keep wishing bro
(11:20:19 AM) redrobot5050: i know, right?
(11:20:29 AM)valaXXXX: last time i checked the religion was found by a combination, part hitler, part joe nameth and part alligator
(11:20:47 AM) redrobot5050: you think the alligator part would be pretty tolerant
(11:21:03 AM) valaXXXX: one would think, but its jsut like the alligator on Joe Dirt
(11:21:05 AM) redrobot5050: but it was actually an alligator that was inducted into the KKK as a grand marshal
(11:21:12 AM) valaXXXX: just waiting for you to stick your head inside, then CHOMP
(11:21:19 AM) redrobot5050: yeah
(11:21:30 AM) redrobot5050: which is in fact
(11:21:34 AM) redrobot5050: what will happen to America
(11:21:47 AM) redrobot5050: if it sticks its head inside the glory hole of gay marriage
(11:21:52 AM) redrobot5050: CHOMP
(11:22:26 AM) valaXXXX: u know, with all the famine, financial difficulties and general shit-i-tude (R) in this country
(11:22:29 AM) redrobot5050: "I do not believe the draft is even practicable or desirable," McCain said.
(11:22:44 AM) redrobot5050: (But everlasting war is)
(11:22:36 AM) valaXXXX: the thing that bugs me the most is the gays, and stem cells
(11:22:43 AM) valaXXXX: how DARE someone think they're my equal
(11:22:48 AM) valaXXXX: how, fucking DARE they
(11:23:11 AM) valaXXXX: how dare you have health problems that you would want cures for
(11:23:23 AM) valaXXXX: just be like me, perfectly normal, perfectly healthy
(11:23:31 AM) redrobot5050: and hard working too
(11:23:38 AM) valatruck: pos
(11:23:45 AM) redrobot5050: let the market find a solution to poverty
(11:23:53 AM) redrobot5050: its worked so well for big business in this country so far
(11:24:12 AM) redrobot5050: like the time the Japanese tried to knock out American competitors in making TV sets
(11:24:29 AM) redrobot5050: one of them survived. Zenith. Its a brand I woudln't even give to people I wanted dead.
(11:24:42 AM) valaXXXX: hahaha same
(11:24:42 AM) redrobot5050: the free market won, dawg.
(11:24:48 AM) valaXXXX: i wouldn't cast that upon my worst enemy
(11:25:02 AM) redrobot5050: "Its either a Zenith TV or Herpes."
(11:25:24 AM) redrobot5050: "Fuck, does valtrex suppress Zenith on a daily basis?"
(11:25:27 AM) redrobot5050: "No!"
(11:25:39 AM) redrobot5050: "Well, at least nothing falls off with herpes. Let's get this over with."
(11:26:14 AM) valaXXXX: yup
(11:26:20 AM) redrobot5050: seriously, McCain just needs to eat a flag or shit out a flag to win my vote. With his lucky 4 leaf clover and crazy spiritual adviser, a daily flag pill supplement isn't too far behind
(11:26:36 AM) valaXXXX: haha spiritual advisers kill me
(11:26:39 AM) valaXXXX: how do i get that gig
(11:26:52 AM) redrobot5050: molest innocent children for 20+ years
(11:26:55 AM) valaXXXX: really, u don' thave your own set of morals that u live by
(11:26:56 AM) redrobot5050: and not get caught
(11:27:04 AM) valaXXXX: u need someone to tell you what to think
(11:27:18 AM) redrobot5050: think of it as one of god's exit pollers
(11:27:28 AM) redrobot5050: he tells you what the religious mouth breathers expect of you
(11:27:30 AM) redrobot5050: you know
(11:27:35 AM) redrobot5050: the same people on Pitt's campus
(11:27:40 AM) redrobot5050: that wanted to nuke an arab nation
(11:27:43 AM) redrobot5050: on 9/11
(11:27:48 AM) redrobot5050: for "retaliation"
(11:27:58 AM) valaXXXX: same guy that picked a fight w/ an italian dude, because he was a "arab looking" ?
(11:28:49 AM) redrobot5050: haha. Yeah. How did nate not get hate crimed by mistake that day? Assuming he got out of bed after he found out that classes were canceled around 10ish when he woke up around noon
(11:29:08 AM) redrobot5050: (dude, its cool, i can skip my CS class. I totally rock at it.)
(11:29:34 AM) redrobot5050: admitting we don't need a draft
(11:29:37 AM) redrobot5050: is tantamount
(11:29:56 AM) redrobot5050: to admitting that our nation's survival -- which is the ONLY justification for war -- isn't on the line
(11:30:07 AM) redrobot5050: and that this is a military grab at oil resources for energy corporation
(11:30:09 AM) redrobot5050: s
(11:30:35 AM) redrobot5050: Democracy and Syphilis: Both are best spread at gunpoint.
(11:31:23 AM) valaXXXX: obviously
(11:31:34 AM) valaXXXX: fuuuck, need to get lunch before this meeteing, we'll continue this @ a later hr

You'll need some David Cross references explained (like Flag Pills) if you're not already a fan of him. I'll leave that up to you YouTube. Anyway, I just thought I should post something to keep people occupied, and my friend and I cynically ranting about America's political climate seemed to do the trick.

The New Dark Night Trailer, synced up Side By Side with the original Batman trailer. Also known as the coolest thing ever.

noreply@blogger.com (Chris Wilson) — Sun, 01 Jun 2008 19:20:00 +0000

This is like the coolest thing I've seen on youTube in a while.